He think players look much smaller than they used to.
"Mmmm. Is this bread? This looks like bread," witnesses say the noted moron said at his seat in the exam room. "Manti hungry. I eat this bread."
Te'o then balled the exam up and began gnawing on it.
"Ouch! Bread bite Manti!" the linebacker exclaimed after he bit his own hand. "No, bread! Why so tasty yet so mean!"
After consuming his exam, Te'o reached for another prospect's exam, but got his hand slapped and recoiled. He then stared out the window and picked his nose until the exam time ended.
He's had that vanity plate for decades.
It must have been the chic city of Indianapolis that caused the change.
It's no worse than Ke$ha.
#1 Extremely expensive food
What's the best way to impress a date? Take her to an expensive restaurant, of course!
But even the most expensive 5-star restaurant in town doesn't charge $6 for soda or $5 for water. This concession stand does, though so it must be the best restaurant in town! Your date will no doubt be impressed by your big-spending ways and your ways in the art of love.
#2 Fine clothing
The finest establishments require patrons to wear expensive clothing. See that guy over there in that jersey? And that guy there? And her over there? And me? These are authentic jerseys. They cost $250. That's right, baby 250. Just for a shirt. We're practically at a Milan fashion show here.
Fancy clothing. Expensive dinner. Now it's time to dance because they're playing Gangnam Style during the timeout! WOOOOOOOOO! Heyyyyyyyyy sex-y la-dy!
There is no love like ELITE love.
The Jets will now sign Yao Ming to be a pass rusher.