April 26, 2013

Video Jets Fan Has the Best Analysis of the 2013 NFL Draft

He's the next Mel Kiper, Jr.

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April 26, 2013

News Manti Te'o: "My agent says I fell out of the 1st Round because I'm a moron"

Manti Teo: My agent says I fell out of the 1st Round because Im a moron - Image 1
Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o says he is disappointed to have not been drafted in the 1st Round of the NFL Draft but thinks he at least understands why.

"According to my agent, all of the teams backed away from me because they feel I am a 'total and complete moron,' to quote him," said Te'o. "He said they think I'm the dumbest person ever and they say that's even relative to other football players, which therefore — and again, I'm quoting — possibly makes me the 'dumbest person in the entire world.'"

Tom Condon, Te'o's agent, confirmed teams' sentiments towards the linebacker.

"Wow. Te'o remembered everything I said perfectly," said Condon. "Probably because I spoke very, very slowly and made him repeat the words back to me and also made sure there were no shiny objects in the room when I was talking to him."

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Filed Under   NFL   NCAAF   Notre Dame Fighting Irish   Manti Te'o
April 26, 2013

Video Talking NFL Draft with NFL Draft SuperFans

The Cowboys are the best, but have the worst quarterback. Got it.

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Filed Under   NFL   2013 NFL Draft
April 26, 2013

News Drunken Johnny Manziel Streaks NFL Draft Stage Holding Heisman Trophy

Drunken Johnny Manziel Streaks NFL Draft Stage Holding Heisman Trophy - Image 1
The 2013 NFL Draft got off to a memorable start Thursday night. Moments after the Kansas City Chiefs used the first overall pick to select left tackle Eric Fisher from Central Michigan, sophomore Texas A&M quarterback Johnny Manziel ran naked across the stage in front of Roger Goodell's podium yelling "WOOOOOOOO! GIG'EM! WOOOOOOO!"

He held the Heisman Trophy above his head as he ran across the stage, exiting stage right. Seconds later, a phalanx of topless young women ran across the stage in pursuit of Manziel.

"Johnny Manziel, ladies and gentlemen," commissioner Roger Goodell said, barely skipping a beat, after the models exited the stage. "What a kid, huh?"

NFL officials had reportedly been alerted before the draft that Manziel was partying in New York City Thursday night — for a paper he is working for school called "Partying in New York City on the Night of the 2013 NFL Draft" — and that an incident could occur.

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April 25, 2013

Opinion 2013 NFL Draft BINGO!

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Filed Under   NFL   2013 NFL Draft
April 25, 2013

News Chiefs Apologize After 6-Team Deal Leaves Them Without Any Draft Picks

6Team Deal Leaves Chiefs Without Any Draft Picks - Image 1
"Ah, crap."

That was Andy Reid's reaction when informed of Kansas City's final take in a six-team trade that saw the Chiefs trade the No. 1 overall pick in the 2013 NFL Draft.

"How did this happen," asked the Chiefs head coach to the rest of the front office staff. "I thought we had two first rounders and three second rounders out of this?"

No one had an explanation. An intern named Kevin eventually piped up.

"It looks like early on in the trade we did have those picks, but then they were moved on to complete other aspects of the six-team deal as were all of our other picks in every other round," said Kevin. "And we forgot to get anything back except … it looks like a 7th rounder in 2015 from the Falcons."

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Filed Under   NFL   Kansas City Chiefs   2013 NFL Draft
April 25, 2013

Opinion Hilariously Positive News Stories About NFL Draft Picks Who Turned Out to be Busts

2006: "Perfect storm of events" blesses Arizona with Matt Leinart

Hilariously Positive News Stories About NFL Draft Picks That Turned Out to be Busts - Image 1
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April 25, 2013

Picture Tim Tebow: Now on Clearance

They put the sticker over his face because he's crying.

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Filed Under   NFL   Tim Tebow   New York Jets
April 24, 2013

News Report: Chiefs to Trade No. 1 Overall Pick Just to Ruin All the Mock Drafts

According to several reports, the Kansas City Chiefs plan to trade down in the 2013 NFL Draft and give up the No. 1 overall pick.

"I don't know if this is the best thing for the team to do exactly," said head coach Andy Reid. "I mainly just want to take a big dump on all the idiots who have been doing mock drafts for months. What a bunch of losers, am I right?"

The Chiefs have yet to settle on the specific deal.

"We have a lot of teams who are interested in the trade because they obviously want to get in on making the draft prognosticators look like stupid assholes," said Reid. "We'll probably pick the deal that messes up the draft order the most. A five or six-team deal would be pretty awesome."

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Filed Under   NFL   Kansas City Chiefs   2013 NFL Draft

Poll Who would you take in the NFL Draft?

900 votes / / 0 comments / View Poll »
Filed Under   NFL   2013 NFL Draft