Watch this (hat tip:Hot Clicks):
I can only think of a few things that would be as awkward.
- wearing a Donte Stallworth jersey while riding the go-carts
- wearing a Plaxico Burress jersey while playing a shooting game at the arcade
- working at the park's dining hall as a turkey carver while wearing a Ray Lewis jersey
- wearing an Eagles coaches jacket to the park while your kid tries to smuggle drugs in his rectum past park security
- wearing a Philadelphia Eagles jersey anywhere in public
I guess it's all just another day at Six Flags Over Bad Newz Kennels.
He has frequently been on the cover of such magazines as Muscle & FitnessandMen's Health, includingothers. Now a young male model by the name of Brady Quinn reportedly may become the face of the Cleveland Browns organization.
"I am not ready to make any decisions, but Brady Quinn has impressed me in camp," said Browns head coach Eric Mangini. "I know it's not necessarily normal to pluck a football player from the world of men's fashion. But I don't want to limit my options or stereotype."
As unlikely as it may sound, the aspiring fashion icon says he actually has some football background Quinn says he played for a small Catholic school in Indiana. But a quick check of recent records show the program is quite poor. And since graduating from the school in 2007, Quinn has primarily focused on modeling. In addition to magazine covers, he has appeared in commercials for Subway restaurants and EAS. And, per the demands of the fashion industry, he has experimented wildly with his hair, as well as his wardrobe including a fascination with tights.
But now he claims his attention is on football.
"Modeling and fashion will always be in me," says Quinn, as evidenced by his appearance on the most recent issue of Muscle & Fitness. "And that's probably how I'll always be thought of first. But I wanted to give playing quarterback a shot, too. There is only room for one Tyson Beckford. But there are more than 30 starting quarterbacks in the NFL. And while it's true that I didn't play at an elite level in college. But I think that makes the Browns the best fit for me as far as making an easy transition."
Mangini thinks Quinn could open a pipeline for more models to enter the NFL.
"These models keep themselves in great shape. They have to. The job demands it," said Mangini. "And once he goes back to visit his runway buddies and tells them about all the brigthly-colored shirts and the tight pants, I think the NFL is going to have them lining up like it's a warehouse sale at Barneys."
Picture White Kid On the All-Black Team
"We're down 2. Get the kicker ready."
DRAFT: Greg Olsen, TE, Bears In Olsen's rookie year he had 39 receptions. Last year in his sophomore season he grabbed 54 balls. In 2007 he totaled 391 receiving yards; in 2008: 574. Olsen's touchdowns also rose from two to five from his first to second season. So expect Olsen's fantasy stats to continue to improve especially now that the Bears will throw more with Jay Cutler in the fold. Just be sure to honor Olsen's 7th Floor Crew roots when you announce your pick: "(Who's your pick?) / G-Reg / (What's he do?) / Plays tight end / (Why'd you do it?) / I feel he's going to have a breakout season and help me win the league with career highs in all major statistical categories." (The rap kind of breaks down at the end there. So if you prefer, feel free to sub in something about busting a nut on a pair of breasts or sticking your dick in someone's ear.)
Despite complaints that having his owner's suite right in the middle of the field will disrupt play, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones says he has no plans to move his luxury suite.
"I built this stadium. So I want the best seat in the house," said Jones. "The players can play around me."
While Jones admitted there would be some issues with any new facility even one with a price tag of $1.2 billion he insisted his sprawling owner's suite across the center of the field is not one of them.
"Leather seating. Marble countertops. Two deluxe bathrooms. Six flat-screen TVs and full-service wait staff?" said Jones. "I fail to see the problem."
Yet there seemed to be some definite issues in the opening game at the new stadium, as players repeatedly crashed into the glass-enclosed structure, injuring themselves. Both teams had difficulty moving the ball past midfield and Jones' personal waitress was killed when she stepped out to get his crab cakes and was run over by Titans linebacker Keith Bulluck as he pursued a ball-carrier up the sidelines.
Tennessee head coach Jeff Fisher says Jones' suite presents some challenges.
"This luxury box is 150-feet wide, so that only leaves five feet of open field on each side along the sidelines," said Fisher. "And their outside linebackers just wait there. So the only other way downfield is to throw over his box, but it's hard to see the receivers because he's got 50 guests in there and TVs and a bar and stuff."
Jones feels teams will adjust.
"How much of a game is played at midfield anyway?" he said. "From what I have watched of football, all of the scoring is done in the end zones. The middle of the field is almost a waste of space. I feel like I am the first owner to utilize that space to its potential."
Our reporter spent the day at Pittsburgh Steelers training camp in Latrobe, Penn. Here are his notes.
> The Steelers are still in search of a short yardage and goal line back. They feel finding one of those will be easier than finding five offensive linemen who can block.
> Steelers special teams coach Bob Ligashesky was a day late for training camp because his airline lost his douche bag. Kicker Jeff Reed was thankfully found several hours later on a flight to Las Vegas.
> Beefy nose tackle Casey Hampton shed 15 pounds during camp while head coach Mike Tomlin dropped 95 pounds thanks to wearing his puffy coat day after day in 90-degree heat. He is expected to be off of life support in the next few days.
> The Steelers say they still see the Ravens as the team to beat in the AFC North. Probably because they beat the Ravens three times last season and the other teams in their division only twice.
> On the day NFL officials stopped by camp to explain the rule changes for this season, the Steelers peppered them with questions. The officials did not have answer for receiver Santonio Holmes question about whether he would be ruled in possession of the ball if he got one foot and his penis down before going out of bounds.
> Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger injured his Achilles on the final day of camp. (To clarify: I mean his literal Achilles; not his figurative Achilles: girls who look like horses.)
With one decrepit farmhand already on the roster, the Vikings moved to double-down today and signed former Texas State quarterback Paul Blake to backup Brett Favre.
“It’s not big secret that we were not happy with Sage Rosenfels, Tarvaris Jackson and John David Booty,” said head coach Brad Childress. “So even with Brett in the fold, we still thought we could improve the position even more and Paul Blake gives us pretty much a carbon copy of Brett. He’s experienced. And very old. And perhaps, coincidentally, he also knows his way around a tractor.”
Blake, now in his early fifties, helped turn around the Texas State Fightin’ Armadillos in 1991 when they were trying to rebuild from a slew of NCAA sanctions. He hadn’t played for years then – and he hasn’t played since. But Childress feels he is a perfect fit in Minnesota.
“If we wanted someone who is young and mobile and still has the arm strength to make the strong, accurate throws required to be successful in the NFL, we wouldn’t have signed Brett,” said Childress. “We think this team needed something different. And if Brett would get hurt, Paul Blake brings those same things.”
Childress says Blake has yet to report to camp.
“I don’t have the heart to break it to coach that Paul Blake isn’t a real person. He’s from a movie,” said running back Adrian Peterson. “Paul Blake is fictional. He is no more real than coach’s idea that Brett Favre is still a great quarterback and a great leader.”
AVOID: Brett Favre, QB, VikingsOkay, so this one may seem fairly obvious. But there is always someone in every fantasy league who doesn't know what they're doing. At all. And maybe that person is you. Every year that person drafts someone who is dead, suspended or out for the season with an injury. Technically, Brett Favre is not any of those three things. He just happens to play like it.