News Peyton Manning Lets Jim Caldwell Address the Colts
Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning had a special treat for his team today before practice, letting a man who has worked behind the scenes for the team for many years address the players.
"Fellas, before we go out to practice today," said Manning. "I want us all to remember that many people helped get us here to the Super Bowl. And I don't think we should forget them. So I'd like to have one of those people speak to you today."
Manning then called a man forward and put his arm around him.
"Many of you probably recognize the man here beside me," said the quarterback. "He's not just the kindly black man we pass in the halls or see in the locker room. He does an important job for the Colts. What's your job, Jim? It is Jim, right?"
"Yes, it's Jim. And I'm the head coach," said Caldwell.
"Ha! Good one!" Manning said, slapping Caldwell's back. "Who else here knew that this guy was so funny? Well, Jim, the floor is yours. You have the players' attention."
Caldwell stepped forward, cleared his throat and quietly and nervously spoke.
"This is very exciting for me," he said. "I've thought about this opportunity for a long time."
He then launched into a list of areas he wanted the team to work on in practice and even started writing a play idea on the locker room whiteboard.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Manning eventually interrupted, cutting the man off. "Let's stay in our lane, buddy. Back to the mail room or wherever it is you work."
After Caldwell left, Manning apologized to his team.
"Sorry that got a little awkward," he said. "But I just wanted to remind you that we're playing for all of the employees in this organization. Even the ones with seemingly pointless, menial jobs. And I think that guy showed how important we are to him. Drawing up a play. Hilarious!"
Several Colts players say that if they are fortunate enough to take a big lead in the Super Bowl, they may even run the man's play.
"How often has a team run a play drawn up by a janitor in the Super Bowl?" said center Jeff Saturday. "It would be a cool story."
News New Orleans Saints Fans: In Pictures
These are the people who will be cheering on the New Orleans Saints in Super Bowl XXIV:
That's not a codpiece. He's just excited about the Saints making the playoffs.
The stress of four subpar seasons in the NFL has weighed on Reggie Bush.
Another victim of douche-pattern baldness.
"Show your tits. Repeat. Show your tits. You will receive beads. This is an order."
You see, it's ironic because she's a bit of a sinner.
He immediately wished he hadn't expressed his Christmas wish to sleep with the real Drew Brees.
Their shields help keep away any women who might want to have sex with them.
Image cropped so you can't see the bush of the red-headed woman on the right.
It was a sad and desperate attempt to get blown.
They found this where an old Saints team had crashed.
The Saints struggled for years due to undersized players using inferior equipment.
News Saints Scout Team QB Does His Hilarious Peyton Manning Impression
New Orleans Saints backup quarterback Mark Brunell had his teammates doubled over with laughter when he did his famous Peyton Manning impression at practice today.
"Oh, man! Mark! Mark! Do that one again where you throw an incompletion, wrinkle your face all up and then yell to the coaches something about the receiver running the wrong route," requested Saints safety Darren Sharper.
Brunell immediately complied, throwing a pass behind a scout team receiver, slumping his shoulders and storming off the field, angrily gesturing towards the intended receiver.
"Aaaaahhhhh! So funny, man. So funny!" yelled Sharper. "Stop. I'm going to pull something laughing. Just stop!"
Brunell next ran a series in which he audibled out of every play he was told to run by head coach Sean Payton.
"Run the plays I give you!" yelled Payton. "We need to prepare our defense for what Indianapolis runs."
But Brunell insisted he was checking to better plays and used a folksy drawl for added effect. Payton didn't laugh, however, and only became more enraged when Brunell stopped him to take a fake phone call from his "little brother".
"No, Eli. Mommy is not being mean to you," said Brunell. "It's not good to eat glue."
As more Saints broke into laughter around him, Payton said he understands that Brunell is doing Manning and that he appreciates the skill to pull it off.
"I'm just not that big into people who do impressions. It's not all that funny to me," said Payton. "Like, Frank Caliendo. Eh. Doesn't do it for me. You know what I would like? If Brunell could actually throw like Peyton Manning. Then we wouldn't be screwed if Drew Brees ever gets hurt."
Picture Matt Schaub excitedly displays the Giant Silver Vagina Trophy he earned as MVP of the Pro Bowl.
Picture Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner announces he is quitting football to manage a Christian rock band.
News Cheerleaders of Super Bowl XLIV
Who cares about the players!
Here are the hottest cheerleaders in Super Bowl XLIV.










January 29, 2010 Column
Tweet of the Week
Tweet of the Week
From @23McGahee AKA Baltimore Ravens running back Willis McGahee
When is it ok for a man to fart around his girl ..
News Controversial Eric Crouch Ad Set to Air During Pro Bowl
Former Heisman Trophy winner Eric Crouch is slated to appear in a high-profile commercial during the Pro Bowl, but the spot is generating significant controversy.
"No one wants to see Eric Crouch in a commercial," said Jack Linard, chairman of the advertising watchdog group Ad America. "I'd rather see twenty Miller Lite commercials with that annoying girlfriend and her dog than Eric Crouch. When did he win the Heisman? '89? '90? Why is he in an ad?"
The commercial, featuring the 2001 Heisman Trophy winner and former Nebraska quarterback, will earn ESPN $1,200 the highest price being paid for 30 seconds of Pro Bowl time and could be seen by as many as 10,000 viewers.
Crouch, who most recently suited up for Team Texas of the now-defunct All-American Football League and will appear in the commercial with his mom, sees the spot as an opportunity to get out a message he believes in very deeply.
"I am hoping to use whatever celebrity I have to share this with America," said Crouch. "I hope it can open minds and save lives."
That message? No one really knows.
"I was given a copy of the commercial to review," said Linard. "But when I saw Eric Crouch was in it, I turned it off right away. Who knows what it's about. And, God willing, I'll never know."
News Indianapolis Colts Fans: In Pictures
These are the people who will be cheering on the Colts in Super Bowl XLIV:
"Honey, I think we had a bye this week."
Unbeknownst to their father, the boys were far more interested in figure skating.
When games get stressful, Blue the Mascot can always relax with some manual stimulation.
Hours later, the little girl shot her brother to death.
Celebrating after another night of getting plowed by the Colts' offensive line.
This is one of only 75,000 like it in the state of Indiana.
Even cocker spaniels love the Colts.
He got this for being the team's only black fan.
A Colts fan poses with backup quarterback Jim Sorgi.
"Perfect, son. Now Marvin Harrison won't be able to see you to shoot you."
News New Orleans, Indianapolis Mayors Wager Their Homeless in Super Bowl Bet
There is a lot more than the Lombardi Trophy on the line next Sunday. There are also some 12,000 homeless people up for grabs, too.
A friendly Super Bowl wager between the mayors of New Orleans and Indianpolis means more than 10,000 homeless will find a new "home" based on the outcome of Super Bowl XLIV. New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin and Indianapolis Mayor Greg Ballard placed the bet on Thursday, and the losing city will be sent the winner’s entire homeless population.
“We wanted to make a meaningful bet,” said Nagin. “None of this: ‘We’ll give you New Orleans gumbo if we lose and you give us
whatever Indianapolis has if we win' crap. That’s been done a thousand times before and it’s all meaningless. We wanted to make a bet with some consequence.”
While Ballard originally had the idea of swapping wives, he says he thinks Nagin's idea has more political upside.
“Can this city support or afford to take on the influx of 12,000 homeless people bussed up here from New Orleans?” posed Ballard. “Of course not. That would decimate our resources and our streets would be choked with the urine-soaked rift raft. But we’re four-point favorites. That's almost a lock. I’ve already started loading up our homeless into garbage trucks to ship them down there. I’m going to become governor off of this bet. Maybe even senator.”
Nagin acknowledges his Saints are underdogs, but feels the risk is worth taking.
"With the economy the way it is, the homeless population is only going to keep rising," he said. "So this is my shot to get a clean start. If the Saints lose and we get all the Indianapolis homeless? Hey, no harm no foul. They can all huddle together for warmth.”
Muskrat Mike, a vagabond who has roamed the streets of New Orleans for 20 years, says he would welcome a change of scenery and hopes the Saints win so he can be shipped off to Indianapolis.
“The world is a big place. There are so many more park benches to sleep on, so many more stairs to cower under during a rain storm,” said Muskrat Mike. “I want to get out of New Orleans. But I don’t know if I can leave because of the microchip the government put in my brain. In my brain! The government is trying to kill us all! Conspiracy! Conspiracy! Conspiracy!” he added, reaching into his pants to fling a log of feces at a passerby.
