Ben needs to watch better movies.
After 11 seasons, five NFC title game appearances and one Super Bowl appearance, the Donovan McNabb era is over in Philadelphia. And for many Eagles fans, the end couldn't have come soon enough.
"I hate to say 'I told you so,' but I told you so," said Donny Nichols, a caller into Philadelphia sports talk station WIP this morning. "This trade is management finally admitting that Donovan wasn't a good fit with the Eagles. As I booed at the '99 draft, Ricky Williams was the better pick. I just wish it didn't take them this long to come to their senses."
Eagles fans wanted Williams, the star Texas running back, and not McNabb in the first round in 1999. Fast-forward to today and McNabb is traded off in the division for a mid-second round draft pick, while Williams is coming off a season in which he scored 13 touchdowns and averaged 4.7 yards per carry for the Miami Dolphins. Williams is also a year younger than McNabb and has a significantly lower salary.
"Game, set and match," WIP caller Ron "Big Ron" Mackey told show host Howard Eskin. "I've been saying on these airwaves for years that I could run this team better, and now it's proved. McNabb is gone. Even Brian Westbrook is gone. And look: we need a running back. Could it be any more obvious now that we should've drafted Ricky back in '99 like I said. Sometimes I wish I rooted for a team run by people who were smarter than me."
Big Ron also advised during his call that the Eagles create some competition for Kevin Kolb at the quarterback spot by drafting Sam Bradford and offering running back LeSean McCoy and a draft pick to the Patriots in exchange for Tom Brady.
"That's a move I think the Patriots make," said Big Ron.
Meanwhile, sources within the Eagles front office give no indication that the team plans to acquire Williams.
"Show your displeasure at the draft," Eskin advised his listeners. "Whoever they pick, boo him. Remind Andy Reid that you know better."
Too many penalties to count. It's like they're not even trying to play by the rules.
You skipped a voluntary workout today, continuing a long personal history of missing workouts. Those close to you admit they are worried that you aren’t truly dedicated, and feel you will be out of shape and susceptible to injury down the road.
“I don’t want to make more of it than it is,” said your girlfriend. “But after our recent breakup, I thought he would be doing everything to really keep up appearances. Then the first opportunity he has, he skips a workout to – what? Who knows. Play PlayStation?”
Your boss stressed that the workout was voluntary.
“Would it have been great had he done it? Absolutely,” he said. “But it was a voluntary workout. His girlfriend can’t make him go. I can’t make him go. And, to his credit, he has for the five years he’s worked here, kept himself in good enough shape to do his job and not die. As soon as that changes – or as soon as he’s abusing our health care plan with treatment for various fatty ailments – that’s when it becomes more serious and something to worry about.”
Despite your no-show, almost all of your friends went to the gym for a workout today.
“I wish he had been here,” said your best friend. “It’s not a big deal. But it’s just something he should do to build camaraderie and show he’s one of us. We don’t want to be here any more than he does. But he should be here suffering along with us. That’s what you do when you’re part of a team.”
Your former college roommate said you can’t rest on your laurels.
“Back in the day he could get away with this stuff, maybe,” he said. “Back in college when he was benching close to 300 pounds. But he needs to realize he’s not that guy anymore. He’s not a superstar. Age is catching up to him. He needs to put in the work. Sure, he still has flashes – he pushed my new couch up the stairs into my apartment last weekend all by himself – but he’s not the guy benching 285 anymore.”
With another voluntary workout scheduled for tomorrow, it’s not known if you will participate in that one either.
“We’ll see. We’ll see what’s going on,” you said. “But I don’t care what other people think. I’m good to go. I don’t need all this working out. I never have. It’s just how my body is. I may not look like I’m in great shape. But I could be ripped and trim in a couple of weeks if I wanted to be. Look how I easily I can pick up my coffee tabl- … Ahh! F—k! My back!”
According to sources close to NFL wide receiver Terrell Owens, the six-time Pro Bowler has been unable to stop laughing over reports that former Eagles teammate Donovan McNabb may soon be dealt to the Oakland Raiders.
The laughter has gone on for so long now that Owens' friends are starting to worry about his health.
"He hasn't eaten anything for 24 hours," said Owens' assistant, Tony Mivens. "He hasn't had anything to drink. It's not healthy. He's tried to drink water, but every time he takes a swig, something about McNabb going to the Raiders scrolls across the screen and he does a spit take and starts rolling around on the floor laughing again."
Those who have seen the receiver in the past day say he looks skinny and weak, but incredibly happy.
While Owens was forced to toil for the Buffalo Bills last year, the prospect of his Eagles nemesis having to close his career on the most comically inept franchise in the NFL perhaps in all of sport has brought delight to an offseason in which Owens, too, looks for a new employer.
"Terrell definitely wants to play next year," said his agent, Drew Rosenhaus. "And we have plenty of suitors. But right now he is weighing his options. He is seriously considering taking a year off so he can put his full attention into watching Donovan McNabb play for the Raiders. He has even said he may buy tickets for all of their home and away games and be a sort of failure roadie."
Rosenhaus says he hasn't had the heart to inform Owens of the one team who has shown serious interest in his services for 2010.
"It's the Raiders. I can't tell him. He's obviously very emotional right now," said Rosenhaus. "If that's our only option, that's our only option. Maybe I can sell it to him as an opportunity to sabotage McNabb one more time. He may even play for the league minimum for that chance."
In a ruling that will change the way NFL games are played, the league has approved a new, modified sudden death proposal. The proposal, which will take effect for 2010 season, stipulates that Vikings quarterback Brett Favre should get the ball at least once in overtime.
The ruling eliminates the nightmare scenario of an overtime game ending without the beloved QB having a chance to score.
“It’s something that we’ve been discussing for a long time,” said Competition Committee co-chair Rich McCay. “Far too many overtime games have been decided without Brett Favre ever getting the ball, and that’s unacceptable. People pay to see Favre play football, not sit on the sidelines while some nobody is kicking a 42-yard-field goal to ‘win’ the game, or while quarterbacks from other teams are playing.”
McCay said that last season’s Vikings-Saints playoff game, in which the Saints won in overtime after winning the coin flip, factored heavily into the decision.
“That game was a disaster. No game should end like that,” said McCay, "with Brett Favre standing there on the sidelines, useless, while the Saints are marching down the field to glory! Hello? What’s wrong with that picture? That should have been Brett in there. We all know that. The Saints know that. With this new rule, the big guy will at least get a chance with the ball, which is all he usually needs.”
Under the new format, if a team other than Brett Favre’s team wins the overtime coin flip, they can proceed down the field in the normal manner and attempt to score. If they do, Favre’s team will be given the ball one more time.
In games in which Favre is not playing, conventional overtime rules will apply. Or, if the schedule permits, team officials may dispatch a private jet to Hattiesburg, Mississippi, to speak to Favre in hopes of convincing him to play for them in overtime.
“The new overtime format won't affect every game, every year,” said Titans coach Jeff Fisher. “But it does affect the most important ones: the ones Brett Favre plays in. Seeing him with the ball in OT is one of the biggest thrills in sports. And frankly, if my team is playing Brett’s team and we go into overtime and he doesn’t even get a chance to work his magic, I don’t evenwantto win that game.”
Surprisingly, every team in the league voted in favor of the measure, with several owners insisting that giving Favre an extra chance in OT was no big deal.
“Outstanding. Give him the ball,” said one owner, who asked not to be identified. “You know Brett: he’ll run out of the pocket, see a receiver triple-covered, think ‘I’m Brett Favre,’ and then hurl it across his body into coverage. If anyone should be against this rule, it should be Brett. It’s just going to make him look bad.”
Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo attended Eastern Illinois University. If you have ever wondered if EIU has a broadcasting major, they do. And it's as prestigious as they're field goal holding major.
Tim Tebow's new throwing motion was unveiled to NFL scouts at Florida's pro day. SportsPickle reviews the new product.
While the revamped motion got generally positive reviews, it also had several bugs, including a tendency to freeze up when the quarterback rolls to his left.
Tebow repeatedly froze when trying to throw while rolling to his left and needed to be restarted each time. But that was not the only issue. A few of his shorter passes went right through the intended receiver as though the player wasn't even there. And one long pass flew off the field and then kept cycling back over the length of the field several times before a new drill was started.
The quarterback and his coaches have five weeks to work through the existing problems until Tebow is showcased at the NFL Draft. It is far from a finished product.
"It's much better than the earlier version. It's has greater compatibility to the NFL system and it's a lot quicker and smoother. But there are still some things they need to work out before Tebow is put on the market." NFL Network analyst Mike Mayock
"Tim Tebow is not on the level of a Sam Bradford, but many people are loyal to the Tebow brand and I am sure that these changes won't hurt his popularity." NFL draft analyst Mel Kiper
"I used the original Tebow for four years. That one was good, and I think the new one I've seen is ever better. Tebow was always very easy to troubleshoot, so I'm sure users will be pleased with their purchase." Urban Meyer
"There is absolutely nothing that can stop me from drafting this product." Jacksonville Jaguars general manager Gene Smith
Tebow has always run powerfully. The concern was that Tebow's throwing ability was not ideal for heavy use by football professionals. This upgrade has allayed many of those fears. Tebow should be among the top quarterback picks at this April's NFL new product show and will remain a much talked about item for at least the next several years.
One day after signing LaDainian Tomlinson to a two-year, $5 million contract, the Jets received some bad news from their new running back: Tomlinson, exhausted from jet lag after flying back and forth to and from San Diego, will skip the first two months of the season in order to “stay fresh.”
“This is just a minor setback for me,” Tomlinson told radio host Mike Francesca. “I’m feeling very tired from flying between San Diego and New York and obviously I’m going to be doing a lot more of those trips leading up to the season, so I really need to….oh, God, I’m tired … excuse me. Wow. I don't want to yawn. Where was I? Oh, so I really need to sit out for the first two months of the season. Could I play? I suppose it’s possible. But I don’t want to go out there and put myself at risk if I’m only 98 or 99 percent. I need to be 100 percent.”
Tomlinson, who has long battled the perception that he is fragile, said this latest physical sebtback has nothing to do with toughness.
“I am tough. That's not a question,” he said. “It’s not even really an injury. I’m just a little zonked that’s all. Tired. Groggy. And if I play that way, it couldleadto an injury. So instead of being ‘fragile’ and missing time due to injury, I am working to prevent injuries from happening. What are people not understanding here? It's quite simple.”
Jets players are privately voicing their frustration with the Tomlinson signing, especially since locker room-favorite Thomas Jones was cut to make room for him. Jones was seen as a warrior who would play through injuries, while Tomlinson is seen as a big fairy.
“Thomas Jones would never sit out because of jet lag. Thomas Jones wouldn’t sit out for a dislocated shoulder,” said one player. “And now his replacement is holding himself out of the first two months of the season? This isn’t how you win a ring. Well, since I’ve been a Jet my whole career I guess I really have no idea how to win a ring, but I’m assuming this isn’t how you do it.”
Tomlinson is slated to return in early November, leaving the Jets without their main free agent pickup for half the season. Head coach Rex Ryan, however, says the team is not concerned about the injury and was not surprised to hear about it.
“LaDainian Tomlinson has some ailment. This is not news,” Ryan said today. “We all know when we signed him that he would miss some time. That’s LaDainian. He’s not exactly Jim Brown, but when he is in the game he’s a force to be reckoned with, especially if he’s running behind a good offensive line and it’s five years ago.”
According Fox Sports NFL Insider JayGlazer, there is now a “75-80 percent chance” that his wife is currently having relations behind closed doors with multiple partners other than himself.
“I texted her Wednesday and she turned down the rumors emphatically, but after speaking with several of my sources, including my buddy Rob, who’s wife Janice went out with her last weekend, something’s definitely going on,”Glazerwrote on FoxSports.com.
Representatives fromGlazer’s wife’s camp, including her best friend Julie, shot down the reports as nothing more than baseless rumor.
“She’s very happy with Jay, and she plans on being with him for a very long time," said Julie. "He shouldn't believe everything he reads on the Internet, or in her text message history or in her mail. She wants to be a Glazer for life."
Julie refused to comment on reports that Mrs. Glazer has been working awfully late the past few months, often with a very flimsy explanation. The NFL expert continues to work the phones and is chasing down reports of a tampering charge.
"She's been talking on Facebook with her old high school boyfriend," said Glazer. "That's not allowed. And she told me years ago that he still wanted to be with her."
If the matter isn’t resolved soon,Glazersays he plans on releasing his wife sometime before the NFL draft so he can focus on bringing in a young prospect.