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PICTURE: ESPN’s Sidney Rice Tweet Won the Roger Goodell Press Conference

I do whatever TV words tell me to do. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Bucs C Evan Dietrich-Smith Snaps the Ball Into His Butt

It’s a shame this guy has never played with Mark Sanchez. The butt-fumble and butt-snap magic they could make. Continue Reading →
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Roger Goodell’s Schedule for the Day

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President Obama Orders Targeted Airstrikes on NFL Teams

President Obama today authorized a U.S. military campaign against the NFL, authorizing U.S. airstrikes of the NFL headquarters along with expanded airstrikes in NFL cities as he ... Continue Reading →
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Oh, No. NFL News Reportedly About to Break.

According to several league sources and insiders, some NFL news is set to break within the hour. Continue Reading →
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The Crappiest Fantasy Team in America: Week 2!

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NFL Good Guys: 10 Players Who Have Never Been Linked to a Terrible Crime

1. Aaron Rodgers, QB, Packers Rodgers is the NFL’s reigning Bart Starr Man of the Year Award, given to a player who exemplifies outstanding leadership and character. Past winners ... Continue Reading →

NFL Asks Peyton Manning to Keep Hidden for a Few Months Whatever Horrible Crimes He’s Doing

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell sent a letter to Peyton Manning today, asking the Broncos quarterback to do “whatever is in your power to continue covering up various crimes you ... Continue Reading →
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Griffins to Discontinue Faulty RG Line

The Griffins announced today that they will no longer produce RGs, in light of the many maintenance issues with the latest model, RGIII.  Continue Reading →

>> SportsPickle on The Cauldron: Week 2 NFL Hangover <<

A “smart” football analyst might tell you that there are 32 NFL teams, all with different strengths and weaknesses, all with different offensive systems and defensive schemes, all ... Continue Reading →
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Honest NFL Headlines: Week 2

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All Athletic Children to be Incarcerated as Part of Long-Term Crime Prevention Program

In an wide-ranging agreement between the Justice Department, FBI, state police in all 50 states and municipal police forces throughout the United States, all American children with ... Continue Reading →
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14 Signs the Jersey You’re Wearing is Inappropriate

1. The player whose name is on the back of the jersey was involved in a violent crime. Continue Reading →
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20 NFL Things to be Happy About

1. Manning Face Continue Reading →
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Embattled Roger Goodell Issues Statement: “Hey, look over there!”

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, facing pressure from numerous organizations and high-profile media members in the wake of his handling of the Ray Rice case, issued a statement this ... Continue Reading →
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PICTURE: This Baltimore Ravens Wedding Cake Topper Was Actually for Sale on Etsy

It’s no longer for sale as of Wednesday, September 10th. That’s probably a good idea. Continue Reading →
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The Crappiest Fantasy Team in America: Week 1

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Real Transcript of Ray Lewis Responding to Question About Whether He’s Similar to Ray Rice

Suzy Kolber: The Ravens, as an organization, have cut [Ray Rice]. They’ve cut ties. They stood behind you. People will try to draw this comparison. How do you see that? Continue Reading →