Picture Curtis Granderson Sure Can Pick'em in the Outfield
Pick a True Yankee, Curtis!
Picture Mark Teixeira is Terrified of the Baseball
You should see how scared he looks when he's batting.
Picture Yankees Scoreboard Trivia is Very Specific
Two bucks. That's too much for a 13-inch TV in Tennessee.
Picture Players are Apparently Chucking Bats Over the Right Field Wall
They have powerful swings, yet incredibly weak grips.
Picture Even Yankees Banner Ads are Obnoxious
It's not just a banner ad, it's a YANKEES banner ad.
Picture Feel Free to Murder Pregnant Red Sox Fans on the NYC Subway
We all benefit if Red Sox fans don't reproduce.
News Derek Jeter Still Undecided on Which Supermodel to Pick Up for 2012 Season
"We've heard that there are plenty of options available, including at least three South American supermodels, two actresses, and four porn stars, but Derek hasn't finalized anything yet," Yankee general manager Brian Cashman said. "It's a concern. You hope to have these things out of the way by now so he can focus on baseball. Plus, it doesn't only affect him. What is the YES Network going to do if they can't cut to some hot chick every time Derek comes up to bat?"
The pressure on Jeter to finalize a girlfriend takes on extra importance in light of Alex Rodriguez dating former WWE diva Torrie Wilson, meaning if nothing changes, YES would be forced to decide between shots of a muscular woman in her late 30s or no player girlfriends at all.
"It's okay for one of them to start the season without a hot girlfriend but for both of them to not be dating anyone worthy of gossiping about? That's just disrespecting the whole organization, I'm ashamed to be their teammates at this point," Yankees right fielder Nick Swisher said. "I really hope they step up and do the right thing."
The blogosphere did briefly heat up last month with news that Yankee outfielder Brett Gardner had begun dating a supporting actress from several Broadway musicals but when this was brought up to Yankee co-owner Hank Steinbrenner, he laughed saying that he'd rather "put the camera on a drunken hobo pissing in the alley."
