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VIDEO: Yankees Fans Struggling to Cope with Derek Jeter’s Retirement

5,000 hits is just 11 or so a game from here on out. We believe in you, Derek! Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Yankee Fan So Overcome by Derek Jeter’s Greatness He Can’t Walk

True klutz. Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Derek Jeter Repeatedly Denies Grabby Girl to Give Baseball to Little Kid

Doing things like this could cause Derek Jeter to become loved. Continue Reading →
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Astros Present Derek Jeter with Retirement Gift of Miss Texas

Derek Jeter’s farewell tour kicked off in full force in Houston last night as the Astros presented the retiring shortstop with cowboys boots, a Stetson hat, golf clubs and Miss ... Continue Reading →
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PICTURE: Red Sox Fan Girl Believes Jacoby Ellsbury is a TRADER

And you, young lady, are a MORAN! Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Cleveland TV Sports Talk Guy Fed Up with Idiotic Fan Re: Derek Jeter to the Indians

You’re in the wrong business, guy. There’s an unlimited supply of idiotic sports fans. Continue Reading →
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Derek Jeter’s 12 Most Disgusting Girlfriends

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New York Yankees Retirement Card for Derek Jeter

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Derek Jeter’s Retirement Tour to Give Baseball a Chance to Praise the Yankee Captain

Derek Jeter announced Wednesday that the 2014 season will be his last. The early notice gives the Yankees and MLB time to coordinate a retirement tour for the longtime shortstop that ... Continue Reading →
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Yankees Insist Masahiro Tanaka Saying: “When do I get your Yankee steroids?” Was Just a Translation Error

Star Japanese pitcher Masahiro Tanaka confirmed at a press conference today that he has agreed to pitch for the New York Yankees, signing a 7-years, $155 million deal with the team. “I ... Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Detroit News Station Remembers Nelson Mandela and/or A-Rod

I knew it. A-Rod killed Nelson Mandela. Continue Reading →
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Brian Cashman’s Free Agent Checklist

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Brian McCann Rips Brian McCann for Greed and Lack of Loyalty in Signing with Yankees

Former Atlanta Braves catcher Brian McCann laid into New York Yankees catcher Brian McCann today for signing a 5-year, $85 million contract with the Yankees. “Where’s the ... Continue Reading →
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MLB Teams Put Off by Free Agent Robinson Cano’s Unwillingness to Budge from being 31 Years-Old

Robinson Cano is the top second baseman in baseball and the biggest name available in free agency, but so far has received no serious interest from the Yankees or any other team. “It’s ... Continue Reading →
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PICTURE: Bud Selig Presents Mariano Rivera with the Silver Dong of Achievement

  Imagine the size of the dildo Derek Jeter will get when he retires.  Continue Reading →
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Yankees Holding 81st “Remember the ’90s Night” of the Season Tonight at Yankee Stadium

The New York Yankees will hold their 81st and final “Remember the ’90s Night” promotion of the 2013 season this evening, featuring several former Yankees greats from ... Continue Reading →
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Failed Yankees Starter Mariano Rivera Retiring After Managing to Hold a Roster Spot for 19 Years

Yankees reliever Mariano Rivera is finally calling it a career after miraculously being able to keep a roster spot at the Major League level for 19 years. “Not every player can ... Continue Reading →
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Blue Jays Give Retiring Mariano Rivera the Gift of Eternal Life Through Salvation

Just as every opponent has done this year in this, Mariano Rivera’s final season, the  Toronto Blue Jays presented the retiring Yankees closer with a special gift during pregame ... Continue Reading →