Picture Carmelo Anthony Wanted Poster
Linsanity actually died of natural causes.
Hipsters have frequently worn jerseys of long retired NBA stars, particularly at music festivals like Bonnaroo and Coachella, but Hipster Linsanity marks the fastest a player has fallen from the mainstream to become an ironic hipster icon.
"Normally I tend to wear stuff my grandfather wore, and pretend it's cool when really it's just old," said Arlo Jones, a 23-year-old screenwriter from Williamsburg. "But this Lin jersey is fringe and retro at the same time, which is the kind of countercultural statement my screenplay is totally going to make. But you wouldn't get it."
Lin is averaging just 16.6 points per game since the All-Star Break, leaving many retailers stuck with a surplus of Lin jerseys and Linsanity T-shirts ordered at the height of his popularity. That gear has found new life in Brooklyn boutiques, on racks next to $300 bowling shirts and distressed T-shirts of '90s pop culture icons.
"It's amazing," said Burt Gottfried, a manager at Modell's. "I thought I'd be stuck with boxes of this stuff, but some idiot in fake black glasses paid me double what I paid for all my Lin gear. Now I've just got to figure out a way to move all this Stoudemire crap."
Picture Double Jeremy Lin Face
That shirt seems a little big.
Picture Super-Cool Knicks Fan, Bro
He feels this game has become whack, yo.
"Most people look at a sports mascot and assume all it does is wear funny outfits and jump around and cheer," said Spike Lee. "But I have other interests. I very much like making movies. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to fire some promotional t-shirts into the crowd with this t-shirt cannon," he added.
While it's rare for a mascot to direct a film, Spike Lee would not be the first. The San Diego Chicken directed small, experimental, art house movies in the late '70s, while the Phillie Phanatic infamously directed and appeared in many furry fetish movies before getting his mascot break with the Philadelphia Phillies. Spike Lee also insists he has directed movies before, but research into box office numbers for the past five years do not back up that claim.
Many within the Knicks organization admit concern that Spike Lee is not focusing on what matters.
"Everyone is excited about this team," said team owner James Dolan. "But just because we won a few games doesn't mean it's time for all of to get a bunch of side projects going. Let's win a championship first and then all of that other stuff will come. I just have a problem with our mascot directing a movie when he continues to be apprehensive about dunking off of a trampoline through a ring of fire during timeouts. Other mascots do it, why not him?"
Imam is going to get voted off the show.
Lin apparently doesn't know that all kids fingers are coated in boogers.
Look at that Linseam.