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PICTURE: Carmelo Anthony Has a Stupid Hat

Anything to distract people from shooting 5-for-20, I guess. Continue Reading →
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PICTURE: Iman Shumpert Has a Hat with a Bunch of Clocks In It

The problem with clock-hats is always having to take off your hat to find out what time it is. Classic Knicks move. Continue Reading →
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Phil Jackson Still Working on Teaching Knicks Basic Shape Recognition

New Knicks president Phil Jackson said he is still overseeing an elementary installation of his famed triangle offense with the Knicks, even though training camp opened two weeks ago.  Continue Reading →
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Carmelo Anthony Vows to Silence as Many as Seven Critics This Year

Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony told the media today that he has intentions for the kind of season “that could silence a small handful of my many critics.”  Continue Reading →
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Phil Jackson Hopeful He Landed Two NBA Superstars with 34th and 51st Picks

New York Knicks president Phil Jackson is hopeful he acquired the two superstars who will lead the Knicks to multiple championships in the 2014 NBA Draft on Thursday night at Nos. 34 ... Continue Reading →
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New York Knicks Head Coach Application

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PICTURE: Knicks “Scoffed” at Computer’s 37-Win Projection in October

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VIDEO: “One Shining Moment” for the 2013-2014 New York Knicks

Enjoy your job, Phil Jackson. Continue Reading →
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Phil Jackson Decides to End His Career a Depressing Failure

Former Chicago Bulls and Los Angeles Lakers head coach Phil Jackson, who won a record 11 NBA titles as a coach and two more as a player, has reportedly decided to make the final chapter ... Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Social Services Must Rescue This Knicks Fetus Before It’s Too Late

Think of the children and give this baby to a loving, non-Knicks fan before it’s too late.  Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Depressed Little Kid Just Realized He’s a Knicks Fan

It’s bad parenting to have ever let him like the Knicks in the first place. That’s just a fact.  Continue Reading →
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Knicks Promise Fans Season Will be Over in Just 50 Days

The New York Knicks sent an e-mail to season ticket holders this morning promising them that the 2013-2014 is “rapidly approaching its end” and “will hopefully be ... Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: MSG Basketball Fan Mercilessly Taunts Wes Welker

Then the camera panned away and Welker and his teammates beat the guy to death.  Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Andrea Bargnani Makes Horrible Play, Is Therefore a New York Knick

At no point did he remember that he is Andrea Bargnani and is simply physically unable of posterizing people.  Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Carmelo Anthony Travel isn’t Called Because Refs Probably Feel Bad for the Knicks

The Knicks could probably win 30 games if they didn’t have to follow any of the rules of basketball. Continue Reading →
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Carmelo Anthony Admits J.R. Smith Has Been a Distraction from the Knicks’ Horrific Basketball

New York Knicks star Carmelo Anthony today admitted that the recent on and off-court behavior by sixth man J.R. Smith has indeed been a distraction to the team. “I’m not ... Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Amar’e Stoudemire Makes Horrible Play, is Therefore a New York Knick

In fairness, throwing the ball out of bounds is more productive than passing it to a member of the New York Knicks. Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Larry David Has the Appropriate Response to Knicks Basketball

If you’re a comedy writer, there’s no better inspiration than New York Knicks basketball.  Continue Reading →