October 29, 2010 Column
Tweet of the Week
Good news: it actually seems to be working fine!
From @Mark_Sanchez AKA New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez
- - -
At least he didn't have a Favre Jets jersey: "I have a very small gun."
I don't get it.
September 24, 2010 Column
Stuff You Might Have Heard
Mothers Against Drunk Driving speak out against Braylon Edwards' taunting penalty
"This is yet another example of professional athletes assuming they are above the rules of the NFL," read the statement. "What Mr. Edwards did is a disgrace to the millions of young fans that look up to him. His poor judgment and reckless endangerment of the Jet's chances of winning is simply unacceptable for a person of his stature."
When asked what they expect from Edwards going forward, Mooney was adamant that he pay for his mistakes.
"We expect nothing less than a full apology to his teammates and coaches, and for him to run an extra 15 wind sprints at today's practice."
Edwards could not be reached for comment, but his agent said he understands the implications of his actions and is willing to accept full responsibility for it: "My client knows the damage he's done. He feels sick to his stomach about this entire incident. Seriously, he's been getting drunk every night just to numb the pain."
Wait. Why does this guy love T.O.? T.O. plays for the Bengals.
Just seconds after their season-opening loss to the Ravens was in the books, New York Jets cornerback Darrelle Revis pulled quarterback Mark Sanchez aside and told him to leave the team immediately and demand a new contract.
"I told Mark he's not making what he deserves," said Revis. "And that is not a lie. He is not making what he deserves."
September 10, 2010 Column
Tweet of the Week
... featuring robot genitalia!
From @ClayMatthews52 AKA Green Bay Packers linebacker Clay Matthews
HBO has debuted it’s new season of “Hard Knocks,” this year focusing on the New York Jets.
Almost every show on HBO is already about the New York Jets.
“Deadwood” – A foul-mouthed man with a troubled past runs things in a town full of unsavory characters.
Alternate title: “Rex Ryan and the New-Look Jets”
“Big Love” – A man juggles relationships with numerous women while trying to forge a career in a competitive and high-stakes career.
Alternate title: “The Mark Sanchez Story”
“Hung” – A man with a large penis decides to share it with the world.
Alternate title: “Santonio and The Cell Phone Camera”
“Six Feet Under” – A family learns about life and love through the prism of death.
Alternate title: “A Family of Jets Fans Watches Another Disappointing Season”
“Sopranos” – A charismatic fat man struggles to lead the family business.
Alternate title: “Ryans”
“Entourage” – A bunch of overrated douchebags live it up.
Alternate title: “Braylon Edwards and His Friends”
“Tales From The Crypt” – A rotten corpse hosts terrifying tales.
Alternate title: “Mark Brunell’s Stories of the Redskins”
“Real Sex” – A look at truly amazing sexual lifestyles.
Alternate title: “The Life And Times of Antonio Cromartie”
“Arli$$” – A completely awful pile of crap that may have a few moments of humor but is mostly just depressing and soul-crushing to watch.
Alternate title: “The History of the New York Jets”