They took 1,000 photos and that's the best one they got.
Hmmm football isn't an individual sport, but a team sport. COMMUNIST!
"I'd like to take this time to announce that, after finding a ring in the box of Fruit Loops I opened this morning, I will be retiring from the game of football," said a sleepy-eyed and footy pajama-clad Manning during a press conference held at MetLife Stadium. In addition to his agent, Eli's teddy bear, Brady, also joined him at the podium for support.
The prize, although not diamond encrusted, is reported to be equipped with both a whistle and glow-in-the-dark capabilities.
"Yeah, it's pretty neat," boasted Eli before shielding his mouth from the microphone and whispering to reporters that he'd let them try it out if they promised not to tell his brother Peytonwho he feared might take it as his own, as he did with the "big shiny one" given to him after Super Bowl XLII.
The eight-year veteran's wife, Abbywho is out of town tending to a family issuewas glaringly absent from her husband's announcement. Sources close to the situation say her going away is likely what led to Manning's decision. According to Abby's sister, Linda, Eli poured himself a bowl of cereal this morning instead of eating his normal pre-practice breakfast that his wife prepares for him: pancakes with chocolate smiley faces and whipped cream beards.
Eli appears to have put on some weight. His mom needs to make him healthier food.
But Ben Roethlisberger would've given Eli Manning wedgies as a child.
Picture Justin Tuck is Now Just a Mask
He'll miss the season with torn neck muscles.
Sandwiching could really catch on with linemen.
Picture Super Bowl XLVI Cement Fail
Tom Brady poured the cement out and then Wes Welker ruined it.
That guy is almost as dumb as Bill Belichick.