Filed Under » New York Giants

Peyton Manning's latest playoff failure caused his father to take out some frustration on the rear-end of the youngest Manning boy, Eli, who was spanked nearly a dozen times after Denver's elimination loss.

"Dadgummit, Peyton! When will you learn?" Archie yelled, after his middle son set up the Ravens to win the game with an awful interception in Denver territory. "Eli! Get over here, boy!"

Archie then plucked Eli off the couch, where he had been coloring in a Transformers coloring book, and began spanking his bottom. By the time Ravens kicker Justin Tucker's game-winning kick sailed through the uprights, little Eli was left crying in the corner of the room — his mother, Olivia, trying to soothe him with an offer of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Archie has always loved Peyton the most, everyone knows that," said Olivia. "Peyton is the most talented and Archie had the highest hopes for him. So he gets angry when Peyton fails. And he can't seem to stop from taking out that frustration on poor, little, innocent Eli."

The Manning Family patriarch said he wishes he hadn't spanked Eli.

"Peyton just tries so dang hard and can't seem to win anything unless Rex Grossman is facing him," said Archie. "And then you see Eli there with two Super Bowl rings. Eli, who is slow-witted and doesn't even like football. Eli, who would rather spend his days coloring and looking for butterflies than playing football. Eli, who has basically had only two good months in his whole career. Two Super Bowl rings. It just … it just makes me so angry. I'm sorry, but I have to go spank him again."

Just days after signing on to be the new co-host of 'Live with Kelly,' former New York Giant, Michael Strahan, has been charged with involuntary manslaughter after a celebratory jump into the crowd killed 3, wounding 6.

"After the show ended, everyone was cheering and I saw him run towards the crowd. I thought he was gonna give high fives or something but then I saw him jump," said one traumatized audience member in attendance. "And then the bones — oooh the snapping of the bones. I'll never be able to unhear those sounds."

Strahan, the 6'5", 275 lb. former defensive end, jumped into the crowd in an act similar to the Lambeau Leap, and while the surprised crowd of mainly middle aged housewives and retirees initially tried supporting the Pro Bowlers weight, it was just a matter of time before they gave way.

"It was horrific," said John Stamos, the show's second guest. "And he was smiling the whole time. He didn't even realize what happened until he got up."