You'd think they'd win more with fire shooting out of their butts.
It's hard to trust this. Most Louisiana elections are rigged.
Picture Sean Payton Playing Bongos
He's hitting them with a stick? There must be a bounty on them.
News Bill Parcells: "I will consider coaching a veteran-laden playoff team for five months in exchange for several million dollars"
"As long as the core of last year's 13-3 team returns, especially Drew Brees and all of those great receivers and if it's guaranteed I would only have to show up for the start of training camp in late July through the end of the season, so the first week of February at the latest," said Parcells. "And if I am promised the going rate for an NFL head coach, which is several million dollars for a season, I will think carefully about doing a favor for Sean and coaching this team."
Payton says he is grateful that Parcells is considering the job.
"For him to even be thinking about it shows what kind of guy he is," said Payton. "But I would expect nothing less from Bill. I remember when we coached together, he would do anything for you. One time I had an appointment and needed someone to watch my kids. Now, my kids were all grown up or in college at the time. They were completely self-sufficient. But if they called the office, I wanted someone to say where I was. Anyway, Bill promised to do that for me after I gave him $700."
News Report: Several Saints Players May Still be in the Field and Ready to Strike, Unaware Bounty Program is Over
"We don't keep in daily contact with all of our players during the offseason. It's their time to get away," said a source on the Saints coaching staff. "Many of them probably still have no idea that the bounty program is at an end. They don't know that they no longer need to be trying to hurt people. I just hope they hear soon before something happens."
There is precedent for the situation in which the Saints find themselves. A Japanese soldier on a small island in the Philippines continued fighting World War II until 1974, not knowing the war had ended. Similarly, months after Buddy Ryan was let go as Philadelphia Eagles head coach in 1990, an Eagles linebacker blindsided Cowboys quarterback Troy Aikman at a Dallas supermarket.
The NFL, which launched the investigation, is part of a huge conspiracy against one of its own teams. Got it.
He better hope Mr. Miyagi doesn't work at the league office.