2001: New Jersey Jets president and general manager Rod Thorn selects Scalabrine in the 2nd Round of the NBA Draft on a dare.
2002: Scalabrine keeps his roster spot with the Nets thanks to a clerical error.
2003: Scalabrine wins a Golden Globe Award for Best Male Supporting Actor (Comedy) for his hilarious bit appearances playing basketball on TNT.
2004: Scalabrine starts and is the go-to player on offense for Team USA at the 2004 Olympic Games.
2005: Scalabrine signs a personal services contract with Boston Celtics with the requirement of "being white, having red hair and wearing a Boston Celtics jersey."
2006: Scalabrine scores the first points of his NBA career when a teammate's shot is blocked off of his forehead and deflects into the basket.
2007: Kevin Garnett spends a 72-hour period screaming at Scalabrine and slapping him in the face. Scalabrine calls the experience "the most I've ever felt part of a team."
2008: Scalabrine rides the bench for the Boston Celtics, yet wins an NBA championship ring with the team making him a better basketball player than LeBron James for four years according to one form of talent evaluation.
"SMH. Jus got hit in hed."
Rajon Rondo is clearly insane. Someone get him some psychiatric help.
He should stop. Landing from that high can't be good for his knees.
Blake Griffin isn't talented enough to be a Kardashian.
It's because most heavy Internet users are very attractive people, so they can't relate to someone so physically ugly.
Everyone on the Nets wants to play in disguise.
In his country, beat makes YOU!