He will not shoot and goaltend during shootouts.
This would have been a much better zing 20 years ago when newspapers were read.
Wikipedia editors made him look worse than Rob Scuderi's face.
Coming from New Jersey, he knows a thing or two about giant, fake breasts.
He's dumber than a monkey in space.
Losing to FIU is a new low for Martin Brodeur.
The New Jersey logo on his chest is almost redundant.
He'll go back and get that puck later.
The New Jersey Devils were forced to kill a questionable Brian Rolston tripping penalty last night in their game against the Rangers due to God's rage over their name, televangelist Pat Robertson claimed on his show today.
"I have seen highlights of the play," Robertson told viewers of the syndicated "The 700 Club". "To me it was a very questionable call. Could it have been called a penalty? Sure. But I've seen stuff like that go unpenalized, too. So it's clear to me: this was a message from God that they better change their name or be placed on the eternal penalty kill."
The Devils successfully survived New York's power play and went on to win 1-0.
"God is merciful," Robertson said of the outcome. "But I suggest they do not test God's patience. A first-round playoff defeat could await them. Or even a Stanley Cup championship. But one that is won in four or five games and seems somewhat hollow and anticlimactic."
The Devils were named after the mythological "New Jersey Devil" a creature that was rumored to haunt the Pine Barrens of Southern New Jersey. But Robertson's God doesn't care for semantics or nuance.
"He destroyed Haiti with an earthquake, and none of the people living there today were around when Haiti made that pact with Satan I've been talking about," said Robertson. "I don't believe in a God who doesn't see things in a very black and white way. The world would be far too confusing if we had a God like that."
Robertson received a record number of donations to his show later in the broadcast when he said that Duke Blue Devils head coach Mike Krzyzewski will burn in hell for all eternity.