June 22, 2011

Picture Tom Brady as Tortured Artist

Now there's a guy who looks like an NFL football player.

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Filed Under   NFL   New England Patriots   Tom Brady
May 23, 2011

Picture Tom Brady: "Eek! Waterslides scary like men who sack me!"

Now Gisele has heard the same girlish shriek his linemen are used to.

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Filed Under   NFL   New England Patriots   Tom Brady

Poll Which NFL team had the best draft?

April 26, 2011

News Clever Patriots to Stockpile 32 Picks in the 7th Round

The New England Patriots are prepared to masterfully out-think all of the other teams in the NFL by trading down in the draft again, allowing them to stockpile value picks to further enrich their unmatched NFL dynasty.

The Patriots have three picks in the first 33 slots of this year's draft, but it is not expected they will stand pat there.

"This has been our strategy for the past few years," said head coach Bill Belichick. "We don't see the value in getting a few players with elite talent. Instead, we build depth that delivers outstanding regular season after outstanding regular season."

And New England front office staffers say all the work in recent drafts has set the stage for what they believe will be the master stroke in this year's draft: compiling almost every pick in the 7th, and final, round.

"There's not a lot of difference makers in the 7th Round, but we will have a monopoly on the scrappiest, hardest working, scrappy, scrappers available. And that's Patriots football," said team owner Robert Kraft. "Let the stars go to the other teams. We'll take gutting out a crucial 3rd-and-8 in October, thanks."

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Filed Under   NFL   New England Patriots   2011 NFL Draft
April 26, 2011

Picture Tom Brady Sees the Future of His Hair and It's Gallagher

The last time the Patriots won a Super Bowl, Gallagher was a comedy sensation.

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Filed Under   NFL   New England Patriots   Tom Brady
April 22, 2011

Picture Tom Brady With a Princess Instead of Looking Like a Princess

He probably absolutely LOVES the prince's vest! OMG! (via Sportress of Blogitude)

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Filed Under   NFL   New England Patriots   Tom Brady
April 12, 2011

News Tom Brady: "I've just been messing with everyone. I'm not really becoming a lady."

Tom Brady is not only one of the greatest quarterbacks of his generation, it also seems he is one of the greatest pranksters of all-time.

The New England Patriots star admitted today that his overtly feminine behavior in recent years, behavior that has intensified in the past few weeks, has just been an elaborate ruse intended to show "the discordant link between celebrity perception and reality in our culture."

"I'm not really this soft and lady-like," said Brady, grabbing at the long, flowing hair framing his face. "I don't really want to look like this. I mean, come on. I don't really start crying when I talk about the NFL Draft. I don't really wear pigtails. I don't really wear Uggs. I don't dance by myself to Samba music. I don't have my wife feed me grapes poolside. I don't … I can't even remember everything I've done anymore. There's been so much and it's gone on for so long."

Brady says he began his experiment after his breakup with former girlfriend Bridget Moynahan.

"I felt the media didn't cover that fairly, that I was painted as the bad guy, so I decided to mess with them," says Brady, "by experimenting with my appearance and behavior."

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Filed Under   NFL   New England Patriots   Tom Brady
March 15, 2011

News Tom Brady Also Sues Pantene With Botanicals After Bad Hair Day

NFL star quarterback Tom Brady filed his second lawsuit in as many weeks today, following up Brady v. NFL with Brady v. Pantene with Botanicals after he said the shampoo left his hair "just totally a wreck."

While Brady v. NFL seeks to force the NFL owners to offer the players a better deal under antitrust grounds, in Brady v. Pantene the Patriots quarterback seeks $1 billion for his "split ends and pain and suffering because I couldn't get my hair to lay right on Sunday and I had to put it in a scrunchie … to go to the opera! It was very embarrassing."

Pantene is claiming that $1 billion is an exorbitant figure for one bad hair day, no matter the obvious emotional scarring it caused. The shampoo brand also said that its products are designed to clean and protect "natural human head hair and not what is clearly the scalp of an aging men desperately trying to cling to his youth via hair plugs and non-age appropriate styles."

Due to Pantene's claims, Brady then sued for an additional $1 billion "for further emotional pain and suffering over their hurtful comments about my hair."

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Filed Under   NFL   New England Patriots   Tom Brady
March 08, 2011

Video Tom Brady Clearly Wants To Be Mocked Now

I'm starting to think we're being duped. He's not just a good quarterback, he's a great avant garde comic.

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Filed Under   NFL   New England Patriots   Tom Brady