News Tom Brady's Father: "I would be very hesitant to let my son out of the house dressed like that"
"I love my son and all of the pride, joy, and money he's brought to this family," said the elder Brady. "But I just don't understand some of the choices he's been making these last few years. I've been married for a while now, too, so I get that they're not necessarily his 'choices,' but for the love of God, does he have to wear these ridiculous outfits? Show some stones and be a man, boy!"
After a 20-minute rant about Mrs. Brady's penchant for making him cancel his golf plans, the elder Brady requested a refill of his bourbon on the rocks and continued.
"Tom and I have a very special relationship. When he was a kid, I never pushed him too hard when it came to football, but he always knew that getting the same haircut as the current hot pop-star or wearing women's shoes would never fly in my household," said Mr. Brady.
Spilling the drink as it was handed to him, Tom, Sr. then proceeded to change out of his pleated Dockers slacks and put on a pair of elastic-ankled sweatpants while repeating the phrase "I don't care how comfy they are, mate. They's for sheilas," in a British accent that was most likely meant to be Australian.
"You know who never put his hair in a ponytail? Johnny Unitas," Mr. Brady asked and answered before giving anyone else a chance to chime in. "You know who never posed for GQ? Johnny Unitas. You know who never lost two Lombardi trophies to Eli Manning? Johnny Unitas."
Picture Tom Brady's Public Embarrassment Tour Continues
Each time you think he's hit bottom, he gets and even worse stylist.
Picture Tom Brady's Latest Sartorial Embarrassment
Postseasons and offseasons are the times he likes to humiliate himself the most.
Video Rob Gronkowski Says He Would Make Sweet Love to Tim Tebow
So would America, Rob. This is not news.
Picture Rob Gronkowski Takes Tom Brady from Behind
Pefect. A Tom Brady doll that is begging for a penalty.
Picture Super Bowl XLVI Cement Fail
Tom Brady poured the cement out and then Wes Welker ruined it.
Picture Chad Ochocinco Studying His Playbook on the Toilet
That looks more like a Bengals playbook than a Patriots playbook.
Picture Rob Gronkowski Wears Zubaz
It's the only thing he wears (when not in uniform pants or naked with a porn star).
Video Let's All Laugh at the Heartache of Patriots Fans!
It's funny because they thought they were going to win.
