Filed Under » New England Patriots

Penn State head coach Bill O'Brien says he plans to show up at the first day of New England Patriots training camp on July 26th in hopes he can have his old job back.

"Obviously, my current situation has become the worst football job in the country at any level," said O'Brien. "I'm hoping that if I just show up at the first Patriots practice, they'll forget I ever left. I mean, technically, I haven't missed anything."

O'Brien's Penn State program was leveled with NCAA sanctions Monday, six months after taking the job in wake of Joe Paterno's firing.

"I think I kind of naively listened to Penn State's leadership when I took the job, believing that nothing much had happened," said O'Brien. "I never expected anything like this. I'm only 42 years old. I'm a young coach. I don't want to throw my whole career away because I stupidly accepted this job."

O'Brien made his statements wearing a Patriots logo t-shirt and shorts he pulled out of the bottom of his drawer.

In a recent interview with Yahoo! Sports, Tom Brady's father said he would be very hesitant to let his son play football if he knew then what is coming out about concussions. Today Tom Brady, Sr. spoke in greater detail and his son.

"I love my son and all of the pride, joy, and money he's brought to this family," said the elder Brady. "But I just don't understand some of the choices he's been making these last few years. I've been married for a while now, too, so I get that they're not necessarily his 'choices,' but for the love of God, does he have to wear these ridiculous outfits? Show some stones and be a man, boy!"

After a 20-minute rant about Mrs. Brady's penchant for making him cancel his golf plans, the elder Brady requested a refill of his bourbon on the rocks and continued.

"Tom and I have a very special relationship. When he was a kid, I never pushed him too hard when it came to football, but he always knew that getting the same haircut as the current hot pop-star or wearing women's shoes would never fly in my household," said Mr. Brady.

Spilling the drink as it was handed to him, Tom, Sr. then proceeded to change out of his pleated Dockers slacks and put on a pair of elastic-ankled sweatpants while repeating the phrase "I don't care how comfy they are, mate. They's for sheilas," in a British accent that was most likely meant to be Australian.

"You know who never put his hair in a ponytail? Johnny Unitas," Mr. Brady asked and answered before giving anyone else a chance to chime in. "You know who never posed for GQ? Johnny Unitas. You know who never lost two Lombardi trophies to Eli Manning? Johnny Unitas."