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VIDEO: Rob Gronkowski and Marshawn Lynch Playing “Mortal Kombat X” with Conan

Beast Mode is a good name for a video game. Continue Reading →
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Patriots Fire Longtime Director of Football Cheating

The New England Patriots today announced they have parted ways with David Granger, the team’s Director of Football Cheating since 2000, and the man thought by many to be the ... Continue Reading →

Bill Belichick Excited to Unveil His Latest Scientific Research on a Memory-Erasing Device

New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick says he has really grown to love science since spending a day last week with team staffers testing the PSI of footballs in various temperatures. ... Continue Reading →
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Rogue Patriots Ball Boy Said to Have Been Influenced by Deflating Video Games and Rap Music About Deflation

The rogue ball boy who single-handedly took it upon himself to deflate the New England Patriots footballs for years without the knowledge of head coach Bill Belichick or star quarterback ... Continue Reading →
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UGGs Drops Tom Brady as QB Hits Most Humiliating Low in Human History

Embattled New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady has been dropped by women’s shoe manufacturer UGGs, hitting what many are calling the lowest low and person could ever reach. Continue Reading →
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Tom Brady Hopeful His Legacy as a Cheater Isn’t Forever Tainted by Being a Liar

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady addressed allegations at a press conference Thursday that he played in the AFC Championship Game with illegally deflated footballs. Continue Reading →
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BREAKING: Patriots Banned from Super Bowl After NFL Determines They Didn’t Deflate Balls with NFL’s Official Brand of Air Pump

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has announced that the New England Patriots will be banned from Super Bowl XLIX against the Seahawks after a league investigation determined the team deflated ... Continue Reading →
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Bill Belichick vows “swift justice” for whoever failed to deflate 12th football

New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick said today that he is just as upset and angry as everyone else is over the latest news about his team, and will make sure there is “swift ... Continue Reading →
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Flowchart: Are the New England Patriots CHEATING?!?!

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Glendale, Ariz., Residents Say They’d be Okay with a Giant Fireball Destroying Patriots-Seahawks Super Bowl

Although they realize that a giant fireball wiping out University of Phoenix Stadium and Super Bowl XLIX could mean the end of their own lives, residents of Glendale, Ariz., say they ... Continue Reading →
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Brash Gronkowski Vows: “I have learned all the rules on what constitutes a completed catch”

New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski made one of the boldest claims in NFL history today, saying he has read and completely comprehends all of the NFL rules on what constitutes ... Continue Reading →
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PICTURE: Coach Takes Tom Brady for a Walk During Game on a Leash

Sometimes Gisele is busy and needs others to walk her little pet. Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Tom Brady Takes a Dive Against the Jets

He learned this watching Brazilian soccer with Gisele. Continue Reading →
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NFL Fines Tom Brady for Good Haircut Due to League’s Exclusive Haircut Deal with SportClips

Patriots quarterback Tom Brady has been fined $15,000 by the NFL for having a good haircut in his postgame press conference last Sunday. The stylish haircut violated the league’s ... Continue Reading →
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Tom Brady Knows Just the Right Scarf to Turn Patriots Season Around

The New England Patriots look as bad as they ever have since Tom Brady became the full-time quarterback in 2001. But with 12 games left in the season, the veteran quarterback knows ... Continue Reading →
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PICTURE: Florida Gators Calendar Features Aaron Hernandez for July 2014

Despite what the calendar says, July 4th is not Independence Day for Aaron Hernandez. Continue Reading →
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Aaron Hernandez Suspended as Part of the NFL’s Second-Time Murderer Policy

The NFL announced today that free agent tight end Aaron Hernandez will be suspended for the first four games of the season per the league’s policy for repeat murderers. The former ... Continue Reading →
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Aaron Hernandez Asks Bristol County Jail to be Released or Traded

Bristol County (Mass.) Jail inmate Aaron Hernandez today asked the facility to release him so he can pursue opportunities away from prison. “Free agency is really heating up, ... Continue Reading →