THE ROB GRONKOWSKI
Directions: Pop open a bottle of Cristal and pour it all over a famous porn star. Then drink the Cristal off of her or just have sex with her or drink the champagne off or her while having sex with her. Violently spike the bottle on the ground when done.
THE BILL BELICHICK
Directions: Fill up a cocktail shaker with bleach and gasoline. Shake well. Splash the mixture into the face of someone nearby. Set it on fire. Then laugh.
THE VERNON DAVIS
Directions: Fill a glass to the top with Champagne. Then weep into it to taste.
THE JOE FLACCO
Directions: Show up at a cocktail party with an expired can of Keystone Light. Then complain if no one gives you credit for supplying the booze and making the party awesome.
THE ELI MANNING
Directions: Fill a sippy cup with Juicy Juice. Then ask your mom if it's okay to have juice or if you should instead have milk or water. Pour out the Juicy Juice and have milk. Let milk sit while you watch the first 10 minutes of Sponge Bob. Then drink.