Duke may have won the 2010 men's NCAA Tournament with a thrilling 61-59 victory over the underdog Butler Bulldogs, but the fact remains that they suck at football, the only sport that really matters.
The national title was the fourth for Duke head coach Mike Krzyzewski, or one more than the number of bowl games Duke's football team has won in its 115-year history.
"Congratulations, Coach K," Jim Nantz of CBS said during the trophy presentation ceremony. "You are undoubtedly one of the greatest basketball coaches of all-time. Too bad you know dick about football. You could have really been a legend."
Duke's Kyle Singler led the way in the championship game with 19 points and nine rebounds and was named the Final Four's Most Outstanding Player, but he would probably get snapped in half if he tried to catch a pass going across the middle. Senior guard Jon Scheyer added 15 points, six rebounds and five assists, but at 6'5", 190 pounds, would obviously be playing quarterback somewhere if he was a man and had any real athletic ability.
David Cutliffe, Duke's head football coach, congratulated the team for winning its first title since 2001, but stressed that if any of them had a sack or the slightest bit of physical talent, they would be playing on Saturdays in the fall.
"Greg Paulus, their starting point guard for years, couldn't play on our football team," he said. "I think that says something. We may not have the wins they do. In fact, we haven't had a winning season in 16 years. But at least we're a major league sport."
BCS commissioner John Swofford says the 2010 NCAA Tournament proved the superiority of the BCS system.
"Duke would not have been in the title game if basketball did it the way the BCS does," he said. "Game, set, match, BCS."
Butler head coach Brad Stevens called the loss disappointing.
"I don't know if I'll ever get over it," he said. "We don't even have a Division I-A football team at Butler. It's so pathetic."
Tim Tebow only got a 22 on his Wonderlic exam, the intelligence test NFL teams administer to prospects at the NFL combine.
He scored 22 out of 50 a lower score than those of Sam Bradford, Colt McCoy and Jimmy Clausen. It's also two points below the 24 average for quarterbacks.
Tim Tebow below average? All hope is lost.
There has to be some sort of explanation for this. And there is. SportsPickle was able to obtain a copy of Page 1 of Tebow's Wonderlic exam, and it's obvious the questions were biased against him.
More than a dozen football powers pursuing blue chip offensive line recruit Seantrel Henderson have stated today that they are rescinding scholarship offers to the high school All-American after it was discovered he received a C-plus in algebra this marking period.
"Seantrel is probably the greatest high school offensive lineman I have ever seen and I would love to have him suit up in a Gators uniform," said Florida head coach Urban Meyer. "But Florida is an institution of higher learning, and we place academics far above athletic achievement here. C-plus work just won't cut it."
Ohio State head coach Jim Tressel echoed Meyer.
"C-plus is average work," he said. "We don't admit students to Ohio State who are merely average, and that includes athletes. We are very proud of the standards we have set for our program, even if it negatively impacts us on the field, and we will not compromise them under any circumstance."
Oklahoma head coach Bob Stoops says a player who struggles with algebraic concepts usually struggles with football concepts.
"I can't prove it for sure, though, as I've never taken a player with anything lower than a B-plus average," he says.
Henderson says his C-plus is due to the fact that he missed more than a week of school before Christmas due to strep throat.
"I worked as hard as I possibly could to make up the work, but missing the pre-exam review was too much to overcome," he said. "I had a B-plus average before the test, but I got a C on the exam and that really hurt my grade. I was hoping all the schools interested in me would be more understanding especially since I got a 2250 on my SAT but they seem to take a no excuses, no second chances approach with recruits."
USC coach Lane Kiffin says he doubts Henderson, no matter how talented he is, will find any school willing to take him now.
"Maybe some junior college, but that's a big maybe," said Kiffin. "Kids like this must remember they need to put their focus on off-the-field things like academics and community service if they want to be part of major college football. No program that I know of is going to put up with players with poor grades and poor character just for wins and success on the field. College football is bigger than that."
Wednesday is college football National Signing Day. It's like Christmas Day for recruiting experts.
You know, recruiting experts: grizzled, older men who spend their days staring at muscled teenagers and describing their bodies.
Yes, it's plenty creepy.
And here are some actual scouting reports on a few of this year's top recruits. Really. Grown men wrote the following things about teenagers. It's amazing more of these guys aren't locked away.
Seantrel Henderson, OL (ranked No. 2 prospect overall by Rivals) "Upper and lower body structure is in proportion and he has the powerful base to blow anyone off " "His butt is down and his back is about as flat as you could expect from a 6-foot-8 man."
Sharrif Floyd, DT (No. 4 by Rivals) "He gets so low and comes so hard "
Keenan Allen, S (No. 5 by Rivals) " like a smooth jungle cat "
Owamagbe-Odighizuwa, DE (No. 8 by Rivals) "He is very similar in size but a tad thicker than Ronald Powell."
Marcus Lattimore, RB(No. 10 by Rivals) " needs to work on getting up "
Dominique Easley, DT (No. 12 by Scout) " has good get-off "
Lache Seastrunk, RB (No. 15 by Scout) "He does a great job of finding the opening then bursting through the seam and finishing "
Jordan Hicks, LB (No. 16 by Rivals) " long, lean with excellent overall body structure and muscle tone."
Dillon Baxter, RB (No. 17 by Rivals) " can take continual punishment. has soft hands but can also take the pounding on a daily basis."
Chris Martin, DE (No. 18 by Rivals) "Every time you see Martin he is bigger and more muscular."
Spencer Ware, ATH (No. 19 by Rivals) "Ware may be too big physically at this point. He is thick enough "
Gabe King, DE (No. 30 by Rivals) " works his butt His body type only comes around once in a blue moon."
Alert Chris Hansen!
Picture Punter Punts Groin
That should be worth 4 points.
Former Heisman Trophy winner Eric Crouch is slated to appear in a high-profile commercial during the Pro Bowl, but the spot is generating significant controversy.
"No one wants to see Eric Crouch in a commercial," said Jack Linard, chairman of the advertising watchdog group Ad America. "I'd rather see twenty Miller Lite commercials with that annoying girlfriend and her dog than Eric Crouch. When did he win the Heisman? '89? '90? Why is he in an ad?"
The commercial, featuring the 2001 Heisman Trophy winner and former Nebraska quarterback, will earn ESPN $1,200 the highest price being paid for 30 seconds of Pro Bowl time and could be seen by as many as 10,000 viewers.
Crouch, who most recently suited up for Team Texas of the now-defunct All-American Football League and will appear in the commercial with his mom, sees the spot as an opportunity to get out a message he believes in very deeply.
"I am hoping to use whatever celebrity I have to share this with America," said Crouch. "I hope it can open minds and save lives."
That message? No one really knows.
"I was given a copy of the commercial to review," said Linard. "But when I saw Eric Crouch was in it, I turned it off right away. Who knows what it's about. And, God willing, I'll never know."
Florida quarterback and 2007 Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow wowed scouts at the Senior Bowl in Mobile today when he showed off a picture of an aborted, third trimesterfetus.
Before engaging in seven-on-seven passing drills, Tebow took a moment to address scouts personally.
“I know that a lot of people have derided my footwork, and my throwing mechanics,” said Tebow, who holds every major SEC passing record, yet cannot throw a football without both his feet leaving the ground.“But, before you judge me as a football player, I’d like to show you this.”Tebow then unveiled a color photograph of a bloodyfetushe named “Julia”.
“Look at her,” said Tebow.“She has fingernails, fingers, toes.She can even cough, just like you and I.Now you look at this picture and tell me I can’t help a team in the NFL.”
Scouts were blown away by Tebow’s display.Said one anonymous scout for an AFC team, “I thought he threw the ball like a man with Bell’s Palsy, but then I realized what a good person he is.It really opened my eyes.We should totally draft him now.”
Other scouts agreed.“I had originally clocked Tebow at 5.1 in the 40.But then he talked about how his own mother refused to abort him, even though doctors warned her she might die from complications.What a fine example this young man sets for us all.I’m totally changing his 40 time to 4.6 now.That’s definite first round material, right there.”
Scouts also noticed that their opinions of Tebow’s footwork, which is sloppier than a Manwich, wildly improved the more Tebow discussed introducing death row inmates to the power of evangelical Christianty.“Usually, I watch Tebow play and all I can think, ‘Oh, God.He’s like Rick Mirer, only slower,’” said one NFC scout.“But this guy has such courage in his convictions.How can you not draft a guy like that?”
Scouts also watched as Tebow bench pressed 225 pounds six times.“Normally, for QB’s, that fairly average,” said the scout.“But when you think about all those starving kids in Malaysia he’s helped introduce to the power of his Lord and savior Jesus Christ, my goodness he certainly FELT stronger than all the other QBs out there.”
“I may not agree with his views,” said the scout, “But I respect the hell out of him.You talk about a leader.That’s why I’m going to totally shave an extra tenth of a second off his lousy shuttle run time.For Julia.”
News Obama Invites Oregon to White House: "They would've won the NCAA football tournament in an upset"
It's been decided. For weeks there has been debate about whether President Obama would invite BCS champion Alabama to the White House as well as Boise State, who also finished the season undefeated and with a BCS bowl win. Supporters of a playoff, which the president also strongly supports, said the move would pressure college football to scrap the unpopular BCS system.
Today the president announced that neither team would be invited.
"After careful thought, consideration and research, I have come to the conclusion that Oregon would have won the national championship had an eight-team playoff been in place," the president said. "Yes, it would have been a bit of an upset the seventh seed going all the way. But this is the sort of thing that makes sports so exciting. It was decided on the field."
The announcement is especially surprising because Oregon finished the season 10-3 and ranked 11th in the Associated Press poll after becoming the first Pac-10 team to lose the Rose Bowl in a decade. But the president attributes that to the fact that the Ducks had almost no hope for a national title after dropping their opening game to Boise State.
"Give a team something to play for, give someone hope, and amazing things can happen," said Obama. "Oregon's first-round upset of Texas was something we never would have forgotten. That final play three reverses, six laterals. And then suddenly a crack and open space all the way to the end zone. Greatest play in sports history? Probably. If only it had happened."
While playoff supporters applaud Obama's move, political opponents say it is just a cynical ploy for votes.
"The president is obviously concerned about his base after Scott Brown's win in Massachusetts and he's trying to solidify support in the blue state of Oregon," said House minority leader John Boehner. "It's a cheap trick."
But White House spokesman Robert Gibbs strongly denies that.
"If that was the president's intention, he would have invited Ohio State, a program from a swing state," said Gibbs. "But he didn't. And thank God. I don't think anyone wants to deal with Ohio State being national champions. Even fictional national champions."
Tim Tebow is under the watchful eye of NFL scouts at the Senior Bowl. One scout gave SportsPickle access to his notes on the former Florida star.