Filed Under » NCAAF

#1 — The Coach From the Stands

This dad isn't going to actually coach the team. No way. That's a waste of time. He'll offer his kid all sorts of "helpful advice" from the stands, though.

"Choke up on that bat!"

"Set a better pick!"

"Aw, hell, we'll have to 'talk' about that one when we get home, won't we, son? This pussy league may not keep score because you're only six, but you and I both know damn well that you're losing 22-3. We'll see if you're a little hungrier for a win when I don't let you eat for the next four days."

#2 — The Creepy Coach

Within a year or two, he won't even be allowed within 200 yards of a school or park, so he needs to get all of his coaching done now. Sure, parents will wonder why a 35-year-old bachelor wants to coach the girls' swim team, but maybe he's just passionate about the backstroke.

His coaching methods may seem a bit unconventional at first, but it's like they always say: the team that showers together in front of the coach wins together in front of the coach. (No one has actually ever said that, but it sounds convincing, right?)

Two regional titles and 14 felony indictments later he'll be stripped of his position.

ESPN's College GameDay is in Auburn, Alabama this week for Clemson vs. Auburn.

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Quarterback, running back, linebacker — all positions on every college football team.

Every college football team has these nine players, too.

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#1 — The Party Animal

This guy manages to keep his spot in the starting lineup even though every single person on campus has seen him drunk within the last week. It's hard to say which of his achievements is more legendary: his three-sack game against Penn State or the time he drank an entire bottle of Southern Comfort during Comm 101 and puked on the professor. The Party Animal often fills a dual role as the Football Player Who Sleeps Around a Lot, so maybe his actual biggest feat was singlehandedly sparking the Great Chlamydia Outbreak of '09.