Picture Oregon Tree > Stanford Tree
It's either the Oregon logo or a tree vagina. Ask a botanist.
Poll Would you let your son play football?
- No way - the only risk I'm comfortable with is asphyxiation from the bubble wrap I've covered him in
- Probably not - there are too many risks: from head and knee injuries to the possible humiliation of playing for the Cleveland Browns
- Not sure - I sustained many concussions during my playing days, so it's going to take me a very long time to think through this one
- Probably - as long as his pee-wee team gives him a multi-million dollar contract, I think the risks are worth it
- Definitely - Life is full of risks. My son could get hit my a bus tomorrow. Especially because I signed him up for the Running in Front of Busses team
- You sonofabitch. That's my daughter and I think she looks very pretty.
Video Manti Te'o's Katie Couric Interview: Auto-Tuned
Not nearly as terrible as that sounds.
Picture Manti Te'o Hotel Sign
No imaginary friend limit either? That's a great rate.
News Manti Te'o Says He is a Chronic Bedwetter in Attempt to Create Less Embarrassing Narrative About Himself
Couric met Te'o's statement with suspicion.
"Really?" she said with a raised eyebrow. "Well … that's maybe a conversation for another time. But let's get back to the issue at hand. Your hours and hours of phone calls with a fake girlfriend who it turns out was a male acquaintance of yours using a fake girl's voice. What about that?"
"Well, Katie," Te'o responded. "What I'd like to really talk about today is not only by incontinence, but also my incredibly small penis. It has a medical name, in fact: micropenis."
Still Couric forged ahead: "I want to stick to the story everyone is talking about, if you will. I know the fake girlfriend is probably more embarrassing for you than your supposed micropenis and how you defecate in your pants, but this is what America wants to hear about."
"I eat my boogers," said Te'o. "It's my primary source of nutrition."
"Manti. Please. Stay on topic," said Couric.
"I'm a furry. I dress up in an animal costumes and have sex with other people dressed as animals," Te'o said. "I enjoy eating gum I found stuck to surfaces in public places. I clean my family's dog with my tongue. I enjoy the music of Nickelback. Anything? Please?"
News SEC Approves Immediate Introduction of Tackling to College Basketball
"Tackling will make basketball more competitive and fan-friendly and more like a real sport like … you know, football," said SEC commissioner Mike Slive. "We are excited about the change and confident that the SEC will be the premier conference for college footsketball."
The SEC also sent an official request to the NCAA to universally adopt tackling in college basketball. "We hope you will consider our proposal," reads the request, addressed to NCAA president Mark Emmert. "If you do not, we will simply know that you are pussies who fear the SEC dominating another sport. Your call." The letter to the NCAA is then signed: "Sincerely, S-E-C! S-E-C! S-E-C!"
The conference is currently dead-last in conference RPI among BCS conferences and is also behind several non-BCS conferences. Florida is the only SEC school ranked in the Top 20 and usual SEC stalwart Kentucky is 12-6 and in danger of missing the NCAA Tournament.
"Basketball, how it currently is played, is really dumb," said Slive. "I've long felt that way, but this season has only further cemented those feelings for me."
