Football is America's game. It should help determine America's president.
Oh, sweet mercy. Look at this idiot with the abbreviated, side-arm throwing motion. Romney throws a football like noted moron Philip Rivers. Do we really want Philip Rivers running the country? Of course not. He can't even win the AFC West. He'd be helpless against the deficit.
And no wonder Romney wrote off 47-percent. With that pathetic throwing motion, he never has a chance of completing more than 53-percent of his passes. NOT ELITE.
Playlist October's Funniest Sports Videos
Gallery October's Funniest Sports Photos
Why is she trying to torture an injured player? Despicable.
Picture Baby Dana Holgorsen
Needs a beer baby bottle.
Picture Classy Georgia Bulldogs Sign
Wait. Why does she have the sign?
The seemingly rash decision is the end of a precipitous slide. The duo seemed to have control of the football world in 2010 when they guided Auburn to a 14-0 record and a national championship. Newton then left for the NFL where he had statistical, but not wins and losses success in 2011, while Chizik's Tigers slid to an 8-5 record. The 2012 season has been far worse. Newton and Chizik have a combined 2-13 record and both have received heavy criticism nationally and from their own fanbase.
But they will no longer hear those attacks, because today the two men stand carefree on a beautiful remote beach 2,000 miles from Auburn, Ala., completely anonymous.
"I knew Cam had been talking to Chizik lately and they were talking about all the good times they had and how they were better off together," said Panthers wide receiver Steve Smith. "I guess those conversations developed to this. Cam has to live his own life, but I think he'll regret this. Chizik seems like he would get pretty boring and predictable after 10 minutes, let alone 30 or 40 years."
From a list of more than 75 athletes, SportsPickle asked readers to vote on who is the biggest douchebag in sports. After 369,097 votes, here are the results.
#25 Mark Cuban
Mark Cuban is proof that money can't buy you non-doucheitude. In fact, all it does is allow you to afford more graphic tees and rounds of beer for your bros. Cuban has a long way to go, though. In a billionaire douche-off, he would get routed by Donald Trump.
#24 Sean Avery
Coming in at No. 24, Avery is the highest-ranked hockey player on the list. When you beat out Patrick Kane in a douche competition, you know you've achieved greatness in the field of douchery.
#23 Kellen Winslow, Jr.
The national dislike of Kellen Winslow, Jr.: Forever proof that America doesn't support all of its troops.
#22 John Calipari
John Calipari as douchebag: one title that will never be stripped from him.
#21 Tony Romo
His time with Jessica Simpson and love of stupid hats secured his place on the list. It's his greatest career accomplishment besides that one playoff win.
A bit dramatic. Big Ten football is bad, but not apocalypse bad.
Hey, dude. Give me back my soul.