Filed Under » NCAAB

1. Seriously? The fact that you even clicked on this link, thinking there could be real reasons to root for Duke — DUKE! — proves you are disgusting. Sub-human. Loathsome. Which makes you just like Duke. And everyone and everything associated with the team and the university.

2. I mean, just look at Mike Krzyzewski. Or Jon Scheyer's face. Just … just … what is wrong with you?

3. The Journal of Blacks in Higher Education hasranked Duke as the best university in the country as far as the integration of African-American students and faculty.

4. Bobby Hurley, Steve Wojciechowski, Greg Paulus. The list goes on and on. Not a likable guy in the bunch.

5. Christian Laettner. Christian freaking Laettner! What a dick!

6. The endowment that created Duke University required the school to"open its doors to women, placing them on an equal footing with men."

7. Duke University is regularly commended by national publications and foundations for its outstanding community service programs.

8. They seem to get a lot of calls from the refs!

9. Even with winning championships across its athletic program, Duke regularly has some of the best graduation rates in the NCAA.

10. Shut up! Just shut up!

NCAA officials announced today that the Final Four will be played with playground-style, metal chain nets in hopes of preventing the costly practice of vandals from the championship team cutting the nets down.

"We can no longer afford to have the nets removed year after year after year," said Dan Guerrero, Director of the NCAA Tournament committee. "It's an added cost during tough economic times. And if the coaches aren't going to police their players, as we have asked numerous times, we had to step up and act."

The premium string nets traditionally used in the Final Four cost as much as $9. The metal chain nets cost almost twice that, but the NCAA won't have to pay for new nets again for years.

"We tested a set of cheaper cloth nets. A $3 one I found at Wal-Mart," said Guerrero. "It was red, white and blue. But the ball got stuck in the net a lot and wouldn't fall through to the floor. We don't want to slow the game down, so metal it is."

Guerrero says the NCAA may also ban dunking on the baskets used at the Final Four.

"These kids have no respect for property," he said. "I mean, one or two dunks — fine. But they do it all game long. They dunk and hang on the rims, as though rims and backboards come from some magical land where everything is free. No, they're expensive. And the players are ruining them. I don't want to hear them complaining when they break one day and the kids have nowhere to play."

Duke forward Kyle Singler said he is disappointed about the NCAA's decision.

"I'm not sure how much I want to play at the Final Four anymore," he said. "It used to be a fun place to play, but all these rules suck. Me and Jon Scheyer are going to put graffiti all over the backboards late tonight. That'll show 'em what we think about their rules."

University of Kentucky Professor Dr. Calvin Goldblatt stopped three people on the way out of his Thursday Introduction to Philosophy class to ask if anyone in the class had seenJohnWalllately. All three students just shook their head and walked on.

"I just don't understand," Dr. Goldblatt said. "His attendance record was perfect in January and February. Then suddenly this month, he was rarely here. I am worried about him."

Goldblatt, who has been at Kentucky for 13 years, but doesn't consider himself much of a sports fan, went on to add thatWallhadn't been in class at all for the last two weeks. Along with missing class,Wallwas absent for last week's midterm exam, and did not show up for his weekly tutoring session.

"I'm just concerned that he'll fall behind in his work," Goldblatt said. "I wouldn't want to have to fail him and make him repeat the class next fall. He's a good kid. But education means everything. Without an education, he won't get anywhere in life. A lot of kids don't want to hear that, but it's true."

Professor Goldblatt inquired about Wall at the university's registrars office, but got no answers.

"Has he dropped out of the school?" said Jane Flinner, a secretary at the registrars office. "Not that I can see. However, at the same time, I can't even find anything official saying he was every enrolled here. However, please, if you do see John, can you get me an autograph?"

Goldblatt also stopped DeMarcus Cousins, another of his students, on campus this morning to ask aboutWall's whereabouts. But, Cousins, who didn't seem to recognize the professor, ignored the question and continued packing boxes into his 2010 Mercedes-Benz ML550.

SportsPickle is previewing each MLB team in the lead up to Opening Day 2010. Today: Detroit Tigers (2009: 86-77, 2nd in AL Central)

With his Mountaineers just two wins away from winning another national championship, West Virginia head coach Bob Huggins says it’s time to break things down and focus on the non-fundamentals.

“At this stage of the tournament, only great teams are left,” said Huggins. “We can all hit free throws and box out and throw bounce passes. But what can set you apart is the non-fundamentals. And that’s what we’re working on. Today I had them practicing hook shots from half-court.”

Senior forward Da'Sean Butler says he thinks working on the non-fundamentals will raise his draft stock.

“I get sick of hearing about how fundamentally-sound I am from scouts and NBA types,” he said. “It’s like a slur. You think I can't do more than shoot, defend, drive the to basket and rebound? Oh, yeah? Watch this … do you think that kind of player could have done a cartwheel into a dunk like that? I might just pull that one out in the Final Four if I get a breakaway.”

Point guard Truck Bryant has been wowing his teammates at practice with his non-fundamentals, obscure “skills” he mastered while he was out of action with a foot injury.

"So many players think that when they get hurt, they can’t improve their game,” said Bryant. “Not true. Look what I can do now – cool, huh? I bet you never saw anyone spin a ball on the tip of their tongue like that, did you? And that’s just one of the things I mastered. I am as non-fundamentally sound as they come.”

While focusing on the non-fundamentals with his team, Huggins says his job is to make sure his players don’t go overboard with it.

“Non-fundamentals are very important. If the final play comes down to who can bank the ball off the JumboTron and into the basket – who has the advantage there?” he said. “Not Duke. We’ve been practicing that. But I can’t have my players do too many non-fundamentals. Then you get into Globetrotters territory – tossing confetti and stuff. We have to stick to the fundamental non-fundamentals.”

The run to the Final Four by the Butler Bulldogs has rekindled interest in the 1986 sports classic "Hoosiers", the movie based on the improbable run to the 1954 Indiana state championship by tiny Milan High School. Not only is Butler a similar underdog, but their home arena is the same gym that was used to shoot the championship game in the movie.

Now that we're more than 50 years removed from "Hoosiers", let's see what became of all the main characters.