Nothing is realer than Nerf.
He will now be slaughtered for his significant hide.
Picture VCU Coaches Play Connect Four
That must be their secret. Soon every team will play this on the bench.
In one shining moment, you'll sing in another octave.
News Harvard Player's Mother Hoping Her Son Doesn't Take NBA Player Job Over Chance to Make "Real Money" as a Hedge Fund Manager
"I'm fine that he has a little hobby," said Claire Rivard. "But hobbies don't pay the bills. At least not the bills on a third home in Vail or a fleet of private jets. I've looked at what NBA players make and the average salary is only a few million a year. Even the best players top out around $30 million or so with endorsements. It's no way to live."
Mrs. Rivard says she recently sat her son down and had a talk without him.
"He wasn't very receptive," she said. "He has this dream to play in the NBA. You know who put that into his head? That Jeremy Lin. His parents must be humiliated. He could have been a brain surgeon and he's playing basketball somewhere in Texas. The shame that family must have. I simply want my son to do something with his life."
"Nothing motivates us like a good baby roasting," said senior forward Mason Plumlee. "It's part of what makes Duke unique and something that drew us all here."
The Blue Devils are in Philadelphia for the opening rounds of the Tournament and selected their baby after returning to their hotel last night from a team dinner.
"A homeless woman in an alley beside our hotel had a baby that was the perfect size," said Krzyzewski. "It reminded me of the baby we sacrificed before our 2010 championship. Plus, the baby was homeless, so it obviously was not committed to excellence. No one will miss it."
Once the baby is sacrificed tonight after the team's walk-through, the child will be placed on a spit and roasted. After the team's film session, each player and staff member will partake of the baby's flesh.
Picture Fan NCAA Bracket Shirt
Screw you, jerk.