Filed Under » NCAAB

Recreation league officials across the United States are conducting investigations into alleged cheating by basketball, softball, soccer, and flag-football teams sponsored by Enterprise Rent-a-Car.

The allegations leveled against the automobile rental company, which has more than 6,000 locations throughout the United States, claim Enterprise is purposely hiring former NCAA athletes and then funneling them onto sponsored teams with the intention to dominate recreation and church leagues.

These "ringer teams" are not being warmly received by the competition.

"We used to have fun until these guys showed up," said Billy Jackson, age 44, of Goose Creek, SC. "Now these Enterprise ringer teams just keep winning. Most of my team never played baseball past Little League and we're supposed to beat a slow-pitch softball team composed entirely of former NCAA baseball players who are all 23 years-old? If you ask me, they should all be thrown out of the league."

Syracuse head coach Jim Boeheim left a walk-on paralyzed today after snapping his neck during Syracuse's practice in preparation for the Final Four. Senior Jeff Tolleson is in intensive care at St. Joseph's Hospital in Atlanta and is not expected to ever be able to walk again.

"The guys are shocked right now," said the veteran coach. "Which is great, because in 24 hours or so they will move past that and be ready to play harder than ever in honor of Jeff."

Boeheim blew his whistle to stop practice this morning, gathered his team around him and then asked Tolleson to stand in front of him. The coach then grabbed the walk-on's head and quickly and sharply turned it, dropping the 6-2 guard to the floor.

"Rick Pitino has a huge advantage in the Final Four with his one kid breaking his leg," said Boeheim. "One of my jobs as a coach is to not cede motivational ground to a potential opponent. So I came up with this. In an hour or so of poking around on the Internet, I came across a way to snap someone's neck – but do it in a way that paralyzes them, not kills them. I thought killing a walk-on might be too traumatic for my good players to overcome."

According to numerous reports across the country from those who have spoken to fans of teams eliminated from the NCAA Tournament, the fans of the defeated teams aren't too upset because they are much more into football.

"Yeah, I know it looked like I was upset because there were tears in my eyes or whatever, but I could honestly give a crap about basketball," said one Ohio State fan after the Buckeyes were upset by Wichita State in the Elite Eight. "Basketball just is something to watch between football seasons. I honestly could care less. We'd kill Wichita State at football and they know it. That's all that matters."

This same fan reportedly said during the college football season, in which Ohio State wasn't bowl eligible, that he didn't care about that "because Ohio State basketball is going to win it all this season."

A Miami fan sounded similar following the Hurricanes' elimination in the Sweet 16.

"Oh, please. I don't care. I could give a crap," the fan said after smashing a glass coffee table and telling police who came to the door over reports of a disturbance that everything was fine. "I was just along for the ride. I care much more about spring football than stupid basketball."