Opinion 7 Reasons Underdogs Suck and You Should Never Root for Them
1. Everyone roots for underdogs.
Look at the wisdom of everyone. See the highest-rated shows on broadcast TV? See the albums that are at the top of the charts? See the crap everyone shovels into their mouths? Everyone is a moron. Your life's goal should be to never go along with what everyone does.
2. Underdogs are just pre-overdogs.
How does one become a hated favorite? By winning. If an underdog wins, they're no longer an underdog. The moment that clock hits double-zeroes and they're ahead on the scoreboard, you're beloved "underdog" is an overdog and you're nothing but a front-running bandwagon fan.
3. Rooting for underdogs glorifies failure.
Want to know the only way to become an underdog? Weeks, months, years or even decades of sustained sucking. Yep, the only reason to become an underdog is by having a long track record of failure. And now you're going to cheer that team on? You're going to put all of your support behind an outfit that was defined by stinking? You're going to reward failure over sustained excellence? Wow. No wonder the world's going down the crapper. You and your underdog-loving brethren are to blame.
Video Brandon Knight Sucks at Layups
He should have dunked it. Dunk attempts never fail hilariously.
Video L.A. Sportscaster Uses Hockey Terms "Phoenix Suns" and "Third Quarter"
He'll be excited when he finds out the Kings won last year's hockeyball trophy.
Video Now Larry Sanders is Elbowing Referees in the Face
A preemptive strike is the best course of action.
Video Jose Calderon Forgot What Team He Plays For
Who cares. Raptors, Pistons. Either locker room is depressing to go to.
Opinion 7 Greatest Sports Pranks of All-Time
1. Michael Jordan's NBA Executive Prank
Jordan the basketball player was not only regarded as his sport's greatest players, but also as one of its great minds. So it was assumed he would make a great team executive. Ha! That's where Michael Jordan the prankster stepped in.
First with the Wizards he drafted Kwame Brown No. 1 overall and made hilariously bad trades. Then he expanded his prank to Charlotte where he picked Adam Morrison and built a team that set an NBA record for the lowest winning percentage in history. Add all that to his Hitler mustache and ripped '90s jeans and Jordan the prankster is just as great as Jordan the basketball player!
2. Adidas' Camouflage and Neon Uniform Prank
So cruel. Yet so hilarious.
Video J.J. Barea is a Weird Little Man
Let's see that play drawn up on the wipe board.
