This is David Stern's greatest conspiracy yet.
It's like the Kia never even moved.
Maybe his rich parents should have sprung for some instructional camps, too. Oh, they did? And a personal trainer, too? Wow, he was truly terrible at basketball.
He led the team in scoring, but he also led the team in shot attempts (by 150) and, if turnovers were tracked in biddy basketball, would have set a league record with 17.4 per game. But it's not how he filled up the stat sheet that everyone remembers. It's that one game when he had a breakaway layup and tried a 360 from the free throw line, only to airball the attempt 11-feet short of the rim.
- Blake Griffin -- he has the physical ability to one day re-write the record books, as long as he also has the mental ability to leave the Clippers as a free agent
- Lebron James -- he has every physical trait you could want in a player; he also has intangibles like drive, confidence and general douchebaggery
- Dwyane Wade -- he's not even the best player on his team, but he's earned the right to be on this list and not voted for
- Dwight Howard -- he's an elite talent and he genuinely loves basketball, which is also sort of a problem: I mean, stop smiling, guy! This is a game! It's not supposed to be that fun!
- Derrick Rose -- he's building his own legacy in Chicago, which will probably prompt Michael Jordan to say something really dickish soon about how Rose isn't as good as he was
- Kevin Durant -- he's the rare young player who is legitimately good and not just a by-product of the Oklahoma City media hype machine
- Kobe Bryant -- he just won MVP of the All-Star Game, proving his 40% effort is superior to every other top player's 40%
- Carmelo Anthony -- he's not in the same league as guys like Kobe and Lebron but ... wait, check that: he's now super-great because he plays in New York!
Vazquez, who was born in Brooklyn but has not lived in the city full-time since the late '90s, is expected to reinvigorate New York's arts scene with her return. In addition to her DJ'ing gigs and hosting such shows as MTV's Total Request Live and VH1's Flavor Of Love, she has also acted in the movies Urban Massacre and Soul Plane, and appears as the dean on VH1's Charm School With Ricki Lake.
"This is huge for New York and for the arts in general," said Michael Fleeson, Arts editor for the New Yorker. "Just having someone with LaLa's talent here will inspire others to expand the bounds of human creativity and expression."
Picture Chris Bosh is the Boshtrich
He is the Heat's third option, but at least he has their best nickname.
Gerald Ford was a star football player at Michigan. Mercifully, he died in 2006 a full season before Rich Rodriguez took over the Wolverines.
Griffin's kidney was removed in a dramatic pre-dunk scene in which TNT host Kenny Smith cut the organ out of Griffin's side while a choir dressed as zombies moaned in the background. Then, with his left side still open with blood and entrails pouring out, Griffin took his kidney from Smith, held it above his head to the delight of the roaring crowd, and then took two steps and dunked the organ, smashing it to the floor below.
The judges gave it perfect 10s, except for Julius Irving, who scored it a 9.