Somewhere, probably on a couch in a trailer home, Bryant Reeves watches and thinks the Grizzlies are honoring him.
#10 2006: The Bobcats select Adam Morrison with the 3rd overall pick in the draft, wisely bypassing as many as one million other people on the planet who would have been worse selections.
#9 2003 to 2009: Despite being Charlotte's most embarrassing sports team, the Bobcats successfully never employ Charlotte's most embarrassing athlete, Jake Delhomme.
#8 2011: The Bobcats trade for Byron Mullens. While Mullens is a worthless basketball player, the gawky dork is still quite entertaining to watch for those who enjoy mocking people.
#7 2012: While finishing the season with the worst winning percentage in NBA history at .106, Bobcats' team owner Michael Jordan probably had lots of good rounds on the golf course in 2012.
News Report: Dwight Howard and Andrew Bynum Considering Signing with One Team in Disappointing Package Deal
"Their agents have already put out feelers with some teams that have cap space," said one general manager. "I laughed and hung up the phone. Well, first I laughed, then I said they could market themselves as The Faulty Towers, and then I hung up the phone. But I wouldn't be surprised if some of the more incompetent GMs take a look at them."
While both Howard and Bynum have enormous potential, it would be shocking if even one of the players gets close to reaching his ceiling. But Bynum says his days in the NBA are far from over.
"I want to be the next Shaq," he said. "The version of Shaq that was fat and only played half the year and didn't work on his game. He still made good money, right? Yeah, I want to be him. And I think I can do it. I'm in the worst shape of my life right now."
News Guy Who Normally Complains About the Same Teams Being in the Playoffs Now Complaining About Pacers and Grizzlies
"Pacers and Grizzlies? Who gives a crap about them?" says Jeff. "I can't name a player on either team."
Jeff isn't too jazzed about the San Antonio Spurs being in the Western Conference Finals either.
"I'm so sick of them. They're so boring," he said. "And it's another small market team that no one gives a crap about," he added oddly, considering just weeks ago he said David Stern and the NBA officials conspire to advance big market teams in the playoffs.
"I don't want to watch these nobody teams in the playoffs," said Jeff. "What I wouldn't give to see the Lakers and Celtics still around."
Jeff made this statement without irony despite bitching incessantly during the 2010 NBA Finals about having to watch the Lakers and Celtics. "Enough with these teams already," he said then. "The NBA needs some new blood."
Picture The World's Worst Sports Website
Can't be worse than his time with the Cavaliers and Celtics.
Video Massive Dunk Failure
Leave it to the pros, bros.
Before the baseball season started, Ford said the Blue Jays would be "good." As of his crack video, they are 17-24 and in last place.
Picture Baby Birdman Chris Andersen
He comes from a tough day care center.
Few of us ever play professional sports. A few more play in college. But most everyone played sports as a kid. And if it was Little League or biddy soccer, every team had the same seven kids.
#1 The Coach's Son
He might not be the most athletic kid on the team, or have the best stats (or any stats for that matter). But he makes up for it with smarts, hustle and determination. This, according to coach, is why he is the team's MVP this year. Now everyone give him a round of applause as he accepts his plaque.
Typical Position: Point guard, quarterback and shortstop. Whichever position is the most important for that sport, that's where he is, because this team cannot afford to have him playing anywhere else.
Where He Is Now: The heir to his dad's construction company, he's going to run it into bankruptcy within four months of taking over, yet still win Employee of the Month every time.