Poll Is LeBron now clutch?
- Why? Because he made one layup? Win Game 7 of the NBA Finals on a half-court hook shot at the buzzer and we'll talk.
- Sure. But he is just regular clutch, not ELITE clutch.
- No, because I don't like him.
- Yes, because I like him.
- He is until the next time he misses a late-game shot, upon which he will become the biggest choker in sports history again.
Video Memphis Grizzlies Successfully Miss Seven Consecutive Lay-Ups
Somewhere, probably on a couch in a trailer home, Bryant Reeves watches and thinks the Grizzlies are honoring him.
Opinion 10 Greatest Moments in Charlotte Bobcats History
#10 – 2006: The Bobcats select Adam Morrison with the 3rd overall pick in the draft, wisely bypassing as many as one million other people on the planet who would have been worse selections.
#9 – 2003 to 2009: Despite being Charlotte's most embarrassing sports team, the Bobcats successfully never employ Charlotte's most embarrassing athlete, Jake Delhomme.
#8 – 2011: The Bobcats trade for Byron Mullens. While Mullens is a worthless basketball player, the gawky dork is still quite entertaining to watch for those who enjoy mocking people.
#7 – 2012: While finishing the season with the worst winning percentage in NBA history at .106, Bobcats' team owner Michael Jordan probably had lots of good rounds on the golf course in 2012.
News Report: Dwight Howard and Andrew Bynum Considering Signing with One Team in Disappointing Package Deal
"Their agents have already put out feelers with some teams that have cap space," said one general manager. "I laughed and hung up the phone. Well, first I laughed, then I said they could market themselves as The Faulty Towers, and then I hung up the phone. But I wouldn't be surprised if some of the more incompetent GMs take a look at them."
While both Howard and Bynum have enormous potential, it would be shocking if even one of the players gets close to reaching his ceiling. But Bynum says his days in the NBA are far from over.
"I want to be the next Shaq," he said. "The version of Shaq that was fat and only played half the year and didn't work on his game. He still made good money, right? Yeah, I want to be him. And I think I can do it. I'm in the worst shape of my life right now."
News Guy Who Normally Complains About the Same Teams Being in the Playoffs Now Complaining About Pacers and Grizzlies
"Pacers and Grizzlies? Who gives a crap about them?" says Jeff. "I can't name a player on either team."
Jeff isn't too jazzed about the San Antonio Spurs being in the Western Conference Finals either.
"I'm so sick of them. They're so boring," he said. "And it's another small market team that no one gives a crap about," he added — oddly, considering just weeks ago he said David Stern and the NBA officials conspire to advance big market teams in the playoffs.
"I don't want to watch these nobody teams in the playoffs," said Jeff. "What I wouldn't give to see the Lakers and Celtics still around."
Jeff made this statement without irony despite bitching incessantly during the 2010 NBA Finals about having to watch the Lakers and Celtics. "Enough with these teams already," he said then. "The NBA needs some new blood."
Picture The World's Worst Sports Website
Can't be worse than his time with the Cavaliers and Celtics.
Opinion Crackhead Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Does Sports on Crack
Before the baseball season started, Ford said the Blue Jays would be "good." As of his crack video, they are 17-24 and in last place.
Poll Do we now have to call Kevin Durant a choker and a loser?
- Yes! - Michael Jordan and LeBron both had 10 rings by the age of 24.
- No - While he was lousy when his team needed him, he never did one of those Decision things, so I've decided to give him the benefit of the doubt indefinitely even if he doesn't deserve it.
- Maybe - The guy picked ahead of him, Greg Oden, has just as many rings as he does. Time to wonder if they made the right pick.
- We will know as soon as the Sports Narrative Review Board renders its decision later today.
