Picture The Most Pickup Truck Ever
Can't make out all of the license plate. Which Southern state is it from.
"Take that shit off your head" are the original opening lyrics to the national anthem.
"We are adamant about keeping NASCAR in its place as the most accessible sport in the world," said NASCAR president Mike Helton. "As such, we are excited to be the first sport to make fan interaction a major part of deciding our championship. Football's '12th Man' is nothing versus Brad Keselowski's 220,000 Twitter followers."
The new Sprint Cup standings formula is as follows:
Twitter followers + Number of race wins = total Sprint Cup points
Daytona 500 winner Matt Kenseth would have 78,256 points (78,255 Twitter followers + 1 race win), putting him far behind Keselowski with 224,836 points (224,836 points + 0 race wins). Danica Patrick is currently in 1st place under the new system with 543,776 points (543,776 points + 0 race wins).
"Not only does the new Twitter-based Sprint Cup formula put us ahead of the curve," said France. "It allows our more marketable, but less I guess I'll say: 'good at driving' drivers, such as Danica and Dale Earnhardt, Jr., to actually compete for a championship."
From @DanicaPatrick AKA race car driver Danica Patrick
"I'm not breaking any news here that seeing a truck explode was totally fkin' awesome," Helton said in a post-race press conference. "The question is, why is something so goddam great only happening once in our biggest race? It should be happening on every lap, every turn."
Helton said he hears the demands of NASCAR's casual fans "They want to see shit blow up, and we're gonna give it to 'em."
NASCAR's television ratings, ticket sales and sponsorship dollars have plummeted in recent years and Helton is looking to strike quickly on the popular explosions idea.
"I'm just spitballing here, but maybe each race we have a few unmanned car drones that just explode randomly," he said. "Or maybe all of our cars run on jet fuel. Or, instead of jet fuel, our safety trucks carry around a nuclear device. Can you imagine the buzz we'd get from a mushroom cloud? We'd be on the front cover of every paper in America."
You see, she's marketable because she's mildly attractive and sometimes finishes races.