Anyone who goes for the crotch deserves a broken collar bone.
"Ha! Oh, dear. You noticed," said Bea. "Yeah, I guess I've really been into them the last month or so. Every fan of music goes through a Skynyrd phase."
Bea performed jaunty organ versions of "Simple Man" and "Gimme Three Steps" during the Dodgers' last home game. She also played an 11-minute version of "Free Bird" that went through most of the 4th inning until umpires stopped play and asked manager Don Mattingly to contact her booth and request that she stop.
Bea says she can't believe it took her this long to "discover" the band, but she says "Lynyrd Skynyrd is probably my favorite now."
Longtime Dodgers fans say this isn't the first time Bea has been influenced by another artist. She also has reportedly gone through Beatles and Bob Marley phases.
Spatula stamps are the new tramp stamps.
Those Midwesterners are very crude people.
#25 Mordecai "Three Finger" Brown
Origin: Remember how your parents told you to be careful around power tools? They weren't kidding. When future MLB pitcher Brown was a young man he accidentally put his hand in his family farm's feed chopper. The chopper's blades cut off most of his index finger, and a later fall on the same hand permanently mangled the middle finger on his pitching hand.
His maimed fingers, though, turned out to be a blessing when they enabled him to put massive amounts of spin on his pitches. Hitters couldn't get balls in the air against Brown, and he won 239 games on his way to the Hall of Fame. So, the lesson here is clear: if your Major League dreams are looking improbable, try sticking your hand in a woodchipper. Can't hurt! (Outside of the excruciating pain.) This is the look you'll want to go for:
#24 "The Flying Housewife" Fanny Blankers-Koen
Origin: The track events at the 1948 Summer Olympic Games in London got a bit more interesting when Dutch runner Fanny Blankers-Koen tied on her spikes. She was 30 years old, a mother of two children, and ready to kick some serious tail. Blankers-Koen ended up winning four gold medals at the games, which propelled her to international fame as the wife and mother who outran everyone else.
And while the picture of Fanny below may not suggest it, she was a confirmed MILTF. (A mom I'd like to do track and field with. Duh.)
"This team has been through a lot already. We've been getting humiliated as professional baseball players, as men, day after day after day," said manager Bo Porter. "It's tough physically and mentally. But as I told the team today, we're more than 4-percent of the way through this thing. We've got a little less than six months now. Only 155 games and we're done. So just be strong and finish."
Porter says his motivational speech was met with mixed reactions.
"A few guys just silently wept," he said. "Some just stared ahead, not moving. A few others asked if they could quit. One guy, I think he is a pitcher, slit his throat and bled out on the floor in front of his locker. Not exactly the high energy reaction I had hope for from the guys, but I'm new at this managing thing."
Oooooooh! That's a naughty word.
He must be more of a Bengals fan.
This almost makes up for a lifetime of losing.