Thanks to the success of last year’s Little League Baseball World Series 2008 for the Nintendo Wii, Activision is set to release its updated version of the game for the Wii, PS3 and Xbox 360 – Little League Baseball 09: The Life.
“Little League Baseball 09: The Life has the same great game play of last year’s game,” said head designer Jay Bowman, “but with the added benefit of experiencing the cripplingly awkward life of a 10, 11 and 12-year old off the field, too. The pained social interactions, the saturation of horrible pop music and movies, the ugly, ill-fitting clothes, even the occasional surprise erection – this game has it all.”
But it’s not all just the embarrassments of life that are featured in Little League Baseball 09: The Life. The monotony of daily life also gets its due. Avatars may not play a game until they first complete a chore for their parents: taking out the garbage, emptying the dishwasher, cleaning their room or the like. And each chore is conducted in real time. You receive an allowance for the work, but it’s only the minimal income received by a pre-teen – so only enough to buy crap like a stupid t-shirt or a poster or something like that.
Perhaps the most prominent feature of the game is Girl Mode. Depending on the age and maturity of an avatar, players are either grossed out by girls or, if sexually interested, can engage in ham-handed make-out sessions with girls, replete with bad breath and braces. If players rack up enough points, they can even unlock a gay or bi-curious mode that is played during trips to baseball camp.
"There's something for everyone," said Bowman. "Although I should warn you, if anyone above the age of 13 plays Girl Mode, the police will show up at your door within an hour."
But without a doubt, the best part of the game is the mode that allows you to play a whole ton of video games just as any 10-12-year old loves to do.
"In all honesty, the baseball part of our game who cares, am I right?" said Bowman. "Why play Little League when there are a bunch of other baseball games on the market. But with this game you can also play all kinds of other cool games on the living room floor of your avatar's home. Or, even better, you can have your avatar go over to the house of an avatar friend with bad parents and play Grand Theft Auto."
I was browsing Craigslist and look at what I found. I think it's a posting from Phillies closer Brad Lidge.
W / RP looking for a save to blow. I want to blow you in a stadium full of people so they can watch. I like when people watch. I will be at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia on the pitcher’s mound this Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night. When it is the ninth inning, I will blow you. I could blow you fast. Or I could draw it out and really make it sloppy. But I will definitely finish blowing you by the end of the inning. Note: this is not just a one time thing. I want to blow you every time I can get on the field as long as my employer still let’s me go out there. Hurry! Their patience for my actions is waning and I want to blow you!
Cincinnati Reds pitcher Bronson Arroyo stepped in something on his way into the stadium today and decided to just eat it off the bottom of his shoe in case it could give him some sort of performance advantage.
"Maybe it's not cleared by baseball, maybe it is," he said, swallowing. "Maybe it's just dog poop, maybe it's not. Although it sure smells like it."
Arroyo admitted this week that he takes numerous substances that aren't approved by Major League Baseball.
"I take 10 to 12 different things a day, and on the days I pitch, there's four more things," he told USA Today. "There's a caffeine drink I take from a company that Curt Schilling introduced me to in '05. I take some Korean ginseng and a few other proteins out there that are not certified. But I haven't failed any tests, so I figured I'm good."
Arroyo now is just hoping that what was on his shoe won't cause him to test positive.
"I still have no idea what I had stuck on my shoe," he said. "It looked kind of like if you put gum, grass clippings, gravel and dog doo in a blender, mixed it all together and put it out in the sun for a month. None of those things are illegal by themselves. I'm just hoping I don't get any trace stuff from the gum. Or the poo."
If his latest supplement helps his performance, Arroyo says he will add it to the mix on a regular basis.
"I'll take any advantage I can get," he said. "Flemming discovered penicillin by accident, right? Maybe I'll be lucky enough to ingest something that's the greatest performance enhancer ever. That's my goal. Hey, are you done with that Sprite? Do you mind if I inject the rest of it into my shoulder?"
August 7, 2009 Column
Tweet of the Week
Tweet of the Week
From @str8edgeracer AKA Texas Rangers closer C.J. Wilson
Orlando Magic forward Rashard Lewis tested positive for an elevated testosterone level. Now the NBA has brought the hammer down, announcing the athletic, three-point marksmen will have all of his home runs cleared from the NBA record book.
"The public must know that the NBA takes this very seriously," said commissioner David Stern. "We will not have our record book or the proud history of this game be sullied by those who break the rules. If only baseball had been as proactive and forthright from the start."
Lewis, who played an integral role in helping the Magic upset Lebron James' Cleveland Cavaliers last year in the Eastern Conference Finals, tested positive late last season and then again during the Finals.
"Thankfully, the outcome of the season is in no way tainted," said Stern, "because Rashard didn't hit any home runs during the playoffs. I'll admit that we dodged a bullet there."
Stern stressed that fans can rest assured that the NBA and the outcomes of its games have never been in any way compromised.
"We have internal security mechanisms in place that are the best in professional sports," said Stern. "That's why we have only had one rogue ref and one PED user. Ever. End of story. So, anyway, did you guys hear what Jose Canseco said the other day about a baseball Hall of Famer being on steroids? Wow. Baseball has some problems."
Lewis hopes fans can forgive him.
"Luckily I play in the NBA so I'll probably never hear anything about this," he said. "But I'm not going to attend any major league baseball games for a while. I don't want to get booed."
DROP: Jake Peavy, P, White Sox Peavy is one of the best in the game, but he hasn't pitched in almost two months and likely won't get back on the mound until late August. By that time you'll get, what four or five starts out of him at the max, and even then he'll be rusty for half of them. So there's little to gain by holding Peavy on your roster all this time for the slight chance of five good starts come September. If you have him, drop him. Also, if you don't have him, pick him up. Peavy is one of the best in the game. He hasn't pitched in almost two months, so when he gets back on the mound in late August, he'll be rested and ready. You'll get four or five starts our of an ace and even if he's rusty for half of them, a rusty Jake Peavy is still better than most of the pitchers out there. He's worth locking up a roster spot now for the chance at five good starts come September.
News Who is Cliff Lee?
Cliff Lee may be the reigning American League Cy Young award winner, but he's far from a household name. Now that he has been acquired by the World Series champion Philadelphia Phillies, it's time to ask
Who is this guy? Here are some facts about Cliff Lee.
Lee was born Clifton Phifer Lee in Benton, Ark. in 1978. At age 5, Lee decided he would go by "Cliff." He also decided to tell people that he was not given a middle name.
The left-hander played one season for the Arkansas Razorbacks in 2000 and was named 2002 Hog Nation Minor League Player of the Year by hognation.net. However, Hognation.com chose to ignore his fine season and instead continued to run risque pictures of obese women in American flag-themed lingerie.
In 2008, Lee's 22 wins were the most by an Indians pitcher since Gaylord Perry won 24 in 1972. The Indians commemorated Lee's feat by awarding him with the belt-sander that Perry used on the mound throughout the '72 season.
In 2002, Lee was part of the trade that sent Brandon Philips, Lee Stevens and Grady Sizemore from Montreal to Cleveland in exchange for Bartolo Colon and Tim Drew. Colon insisted Drew be included in the deal, as he was his personal chef/guy-who-would-run-to-Burger-King-at-midnight-for-him-to-get-a-few-Whoppers.
Lee won the AL Comeback Player of the Year Award in 2008. Lee was eligible for the award because in 2007 he went 5-8 with a 6.29 ERA and was plagued by acute suckitis. Yet he overcame the disease to win the Cy Young a year later. A movie about the inspiring comeback is already in production.
Lee and his wife, Kristin, have two children: Jaxon and Maci. Here is a photo of the family. Let's see a young, blonde wife. Two cute children, a boy and a girl. He's ridiculously wealthy. It's all too good to be true. What are you hiding, Lee? An ugly cat? A toilet that runs in your guest house? A musty odor that lingers for a day or two each year when you open your beach house? Back hair? Out with it! Stop living a lie, Phifer! We're onto you.