Filed Under » MLB

With the usual roar of the crowd well below his hearing threshold, lifelong Rockies fan Doug Mabrey really enjoyed participating in the wave during the team’s 7-3 victory over the Diamondbacks last night.

Mabrey, who lost his hearing during early infancy, has been a longtime attendee of Rockies games, but has often felt excluded from much of the fan experience. When Dinger, the team’s triceratops mascot, began the wave by running along the first base line flailing his arms, Mabrey knew it was a good opportunity for him to join in on the fun.

“It was great to stand up and wave my arms and know I was doing it right,” wrote Mabrey on a piece of scrap paper. “Who knows? Maybe next time I’ll give the Noise-O-Meter a shot.”

Wednesday’s game marked Mabrey’s best attempt at communal cheer participation since last July, when he hollered “Nets No Nockies!” slightly off rhythm from the rest of the spectators.

While Mabrey has yet to purchase any more tickets for games this season, something tells him he’ll be in attendance at Coors Field sometime soon.

“We’re in it to win it, baby!” he indicated through sign language, or so one would assume.

Washington Nationals phenom pitcher Stephen Strasburg impressed in his major league debut Tuesday night when he struck out three Pittsburgh Pirates batters using just one of his awe-inspiring pitches.

“I’m not sure what happened,” said Pirates first baseman Garrett Jones, who was the first batter put down by Strasburg in the top of the seventh. “I think what it was is that he threw the first pitch so fast, it ripped right through the catcher, the umpire, the back wall of the stadium and then circumnavigated the earth – two times to get me to strike out, and then six more times to set down the two guys behind me. Needless to say, it was a really fast pitch. And I think that was even his change-up.”

Pirates outfielder Delwyn Young, who was up after Jones, remembers the feat differently.

"Really? That’s what Garrett says happened?” said Young. “All I remember is seeing Strasburg throw the first pitch and then Pudge Rodriguez’s glove hand tear apart in an explosion of blood and bone. I passed out then. When I woke up, the inning was over. I assumed I was called out by forfeit or something because I was laying passed out in the batter’s box. But I guess maybe in my shock I came to, went to the plate and watched as that pitch came around the globe three more times.”

Even Strasburg, the greatest pitcher ever, says he doesn’t know for sure how he set down the order on just one pitch.

“I’ve struck out the side before,” he said. “Actually, every inning I’ve ever pitched I’ve done it. But never on one pitch before. Three? Yes. Two pitches? A few times. But never just one pitch. The thing is, I don’t remember what happened exactly. I’m usually distracted when I’m on the mound because baseball is so easy for me that I’m lost in my head solving world hunger and figuring out how to stop oil spills and stuff. Which reminds me, I need to pass my findings onto the people down in New Orleans. I’ll just affix a note to a baseball and throw it all the way down there.”

Whatever pitch it was that Strasburg used to strike out the side, he knows it wasn’t his curveball.

“I can’t throw my curveball. It’s unsafe to do it in a stadium,” he said. “It actually curves so much that it starts out way into the stands before snapping back over the plate. I don’t want to hit some kid or old lady in the stands in the face.”

Nationals manager Jim Riggelman says striking out the side on one pitch is just the tip of the iceberg with Strasburg.

"Stephen is only 21 years old, his whole career is ahead of him," he said. "Plus, maybe one day he'll play for the Yankees. Ooh! Or even the Red Sox. Then not only would he be great, but he would be, like, super important and relevant."

Baseball phenom Bryce Harper will be the first pick in the Major League Baseball draft. He has been dubbed “The Chosen One” bySports Illustrated.

Who is this guy? Here are some facts about Bryce Harper.

Despite being only 17 years old, Harper stands 6-foot-3 and weighs 205 pounds.Harperhas already received numerous endorsement contract offers from makers of husky jeans.

Harper hit the longest home run in the history of Tropicana Field, a 502-foot blast that would have flown farther had it not hit the back wall of the dome.Thanks to his aluminum bat, Harper has also hit 16 ground-rule doubles in his career while attempting to bunt.

The phenom has been compared to Justin Upton, Alex Rodriguez and Ken Griffey, Jr.A career .268 hitter who strikes out once every three at-bats, a cheater/choker/she-male lover who fancies himself a centaur, and a chubby guy who was injured for half his career. With scouts like these … bada-BOOM!

According toSports Illustrated, Harper “has faster bat speed than Mark McGwire in his prime and runs so fast that he scored on wild pitches six times […] from second base. As a catcher he picks off runners from his knees, and when he pitches, he throws a fastball that has been clocked at 96 mph. He also does volunteer work, holds down a 3.5 grade point average and attends religious education classes nearly every morning before school.”And he is an accomplished artist who has earned rave reviews for his works depicting Tim Tebow’s dainty, pink vagina.

Harper already is known for his trademark eye black, which covers both of his cheeks. While Tebow can only write a Bible verse on his eye black, Harper is able to post entire Bible chapters.

Harper and his parents are being advised by Scott Boras and the 17 year-old says his dreams include to “Play in Yankee Stadium. Play in pinstripes.”As an added part of his large frame, Harper has packed extra muscle into the place where his soul used to be.

Despite his obvious baseball gifts, Harper has drawn criticism for angry outbursts and repeated poor behavior. Clearly he knows he is being drafted by the Nationals and will require some counseling.

In his freshman season of high school, Harper hit a 570-foot home run.570-foot home run as a freshman. Only a 502-foot home run as a sophomore. Violent rages. Looks like someone is coming down off of the steroids-fueled middle school years.