News Twitter Helping You Grow To Hate All of Your Favorite Athletes
“I love the NBA and I’ve always liked how Lebron James plays the game and how he’s stayed out of trouble and has had a great career despite all of the pressure on him since an early age,” said Kris Mazur, an NBA fan in New York. “So when I heard he was active on Twitter I decided to join up and follow him. Three days later and there is no other athlete I have ever despised more than Lebron James.”
Mazur’s story is similar to many other fans on Twitter across all sports — from basketball and football to NASCAR and golf — who had hoped to follow their favorite athletes beyond news reports and soundbites.
“I eventually had to delete my Twitter account because I realized that I had started to root against every athlete and every team,” said Dallas sports fan Kendall Riley. “Twitter was ruining sports for me. I’ve learned that it’s better I just watch them perform on the field and not know that they can’t spell, are stunningly egotistical or misogynistic, or just generally uninteresting and douchey.”
Opinion 6 Classic April Fools-Style Sports Pranks
#1 – Hidden Ball Trick
Sport: Baseball
Basic Instructions: Conceal the location of the ball from the baserunner in hopes he strays away from the base, allowing you to then tag him out.
Advanced Instructions: Take a ton of steroids to help you hit home runs against unsuspecting pitchers. Meanwhile, your balls will disappear.
#2 – Surprise Onside Kick
Sport: Football
Basic Instructions: Line up for a regular kickoff, but have your kicker tap the ball only 10 yards ahead in hopes of catching the opposition by surprise so you can regain possession of the ball.
Advanced Instructions: Turn the prank on your kicker by just standing there after he kicks the ball, leaving him as the only player on your team trying to chase it down. It will be hilarious when the little guy gets creamed by the opposing team.
#3 – Pump Fake
Sport: Basketball
Basic Instructions: Feign taking a jump shot, but don’t leave the ground. This can cause your defender to leap into the air or lose his balance, allowing you to drive past him to the basket or shoot uncontested.
Advanced Instructions: If you just got pump-faked by someone, when they go up to shoot as you are coming back down to the ground, punch them in the crotch Kevin Garnett-style. Prank back at you!
Opinion 5 Apps Every Sports Fan Needs
Video Beer Pong Trick Shot Video
Big deal. Anyone can do that when they're not drunk from actually playing beer pong.
Picture Swoosh Turd
It's not a dog turd. Michael Jordan is contractually obligated to crap like that. (via Total Pro Sports)
Opinion The 10 Worst Sports Movies of All-Time
#10 — “Little Big League” (1994)
Sure, skimpy payrolls and watching Nick Punto bat have been hard on Minnesota Twins fans, but this stinker came up with an alternate reality that was far, far grimmer.
A preteen inherits the franchise and proceeds to install himself as the team’s manager and suddenly the moribund team gets hot. (Note to the Royals: it’s worth a shot.) And can you believe the players even help their skipper with his math homework?!
If this is the kind of family comedy you have to watch with your kids, dying alone might not be such a bad alternative.
#9 — “Summer Catch” (2001)
Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Matthew Lillard playing in the Cape Cod League? What could go wrong? Other than the acting. And the baseball scenes. Oh, and the dialogue. And the soundtrack featuring Semisonic and Fastball.
Still, this one could have been a hit if the producers had marketed it properly. Who could turn resist the allure of “Brian Dennehy and Wilmer Valderrama … together at last!” on a marquee?
