From Staff / January 24, 2012

Opinion The 25 Funniest Sports Movies of All-Time

From nearly 70,000 reader votes on more than 50 sports comedies …

#25 – The Longest Yard (original)

The 1974 original is the oldest movie on the list, proving the enduring entertainment value in seeing those in authority getting the crap kicked out of them.

#24 – Varsity Blues

It's the story of a small-town Texas high school that places huge importance on football. Sounds more like a documentary. Oh, wait. James Van Der Beek is a star quarterback? There are your laughs.

#23 – Major League II

The sequel to "Major League" couldn't quite live up to the original. Blame Omar Epps' Willie Mays Hayes.

#22 – A League of Their Own

Geena Davis was the star, Rosie O'Donnell provided comic relief and Madonna was a sex symbol. Wow, 1992 was a really long time ago.

#21 – D2: The Mighty Ducks

Emilio Estevez doesn't have much of a movie career nowadays, but at least he can claim that his sports movie sequel holds up better than his brother Charlie Sheen's does. Also, he probably doesn't have a potpourri of porn star-provided venereal diseases. Good job, Emilio.

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Filed Under   NBA   MLB   NFL   misc   NHL
January 18, 2012

Video Pinata Baseball Backfires

She would have preferred to be hit in the face by the thing that's full of candy.

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Filed Under   MLB   misc
From Steve Etheridge / January 18, 2012

News Under Armour Unveils Line of Prom Dresses

The sports apparel company Under Armour announced that it is releasing a collection of "prom performance attire" this coming spring.

The collection includes six tight-fitting, breathable gowns designed for athletic females — a demographic, according to the company, that believes competition and elegance should coexist.

The dresses were unveiled Wednesday morning at a press conference, where six heavily muscled women sported the dresses and stood in traditional prom poses, their fibrous arms holding punching bags instead of dates. The women stood under a sign that read, THIS YEAR, PROMINATE YOUR DATE, and proceeded to demonstrate a cardio-intense interpretation of a slow dance that culminated with the women body slamming tuxedoed mannequins through fluorescent lamps.

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Filed Under   misc   sports business
December 01, 2011

Picture Rock Skiing

That's probably bad on the wax job.

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Filed Under   misc   skiing   extreme sports
November 29, 2011

Opinion The Muppets and Their Athlete Equivalents

Derek Jeter = Kermit the Frog

He's not the biggest, he's not the smallest, he's not the most talented, his glory days are long past and he's kind of weird looking. But he's the leader and he's loved above all others thanks to a special something you can't define. What is the elusive magic rainbow connection if not intangibles?

Ndamukong Suh = Miss Piggy

They're both huge, they both have narcissistic tendencies, they both let their emotions get the best of them and they're both prone to violence. Derek Jeter is lucky that Ndamukong Suh is not attracted to him.

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Filed Under   NBA   MLB   NFL   misc
November 22, 2011

Opinion The 8 People Who Will Play in Your Family's Turkey Day Football Game

The Little Kid

It's your nephew or your little cousin. And he's the worst player on the field. He's also the most valuable player on the field because the other side will be guilted into giving him a free touchdown or two so his little feelings don't get hurt. You'll want to lock him up with the first pick.

Position: WR/DL/in-the-way

The Injury-Prone Uncle

Once the teams are all settled up, the game begins. But it doesn't officially begin until a play or two later when Uncle Jerry somehow snaps his femur running a crossing route at 3 miles per hour. Then you have to find two replacements — one for Uncle Jerry and one for the person rushing him to the hospital — before the game can begin again and for real.

Position: WR then fetal

The Guy Who Takes It Too Seriously

The game is supposed to be a fun activity to burn off some calories, but he's treating the family Turkey Bowl like it's the Super Bowl. Drop a pass and he'll be on your ass. And you better not forget any of the two dozen plays or blitz schemes he's drawn up. And don't bother complaining when he drops Aunt Gladys with a clothesline. YOU DON'T COME ACROSS THE MIDDLE IN MY BACKYARD, AUNT GLADYS!

Position: QB/CB who plays aggressive bump coverage

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Filed Under   NFL   NCAAF   misc
From Staff / November 17, 2011

Opinion The 15 Greatest Red-Headed Athletes of All-Time

#15 – Brian Scalabrine

Why does the list only go to 15? Because if you're running 15 "athletes" and you get to Brian Scalabrine at 15, can the people after him really be considered athletes? No. The answer is "no".

#14 – Jason Garrett

Garrett threw for 2,042 yards in an 8-year NFL career from 1993 to 2000. Today he is the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys. As the saying goes: "Those who can't do (sports because they have red hair), teach."

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Filed Under   NBA   MLB   NFL   misc   NHL
November 9, 2012

Opinion If Classic Novels Were About Sports

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Filed Under   NBA   MLB   NFL   boxing   misc   NHL   pro wrestling
September 6, 2012

Opinion If High School Gym Class Had a Syllabus

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Filed Under   misc
November 07, 2011

Video Greatest Dodgeball Player Ever

With his athleticism, perhaps he should consider a more profitable sport.

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Filed Under   misc   dodgeball