Opinion The 8 People Who Will Play in Your Family's Turkey Day Football Game
The Little Kid
It's your nephew or your little cousin. And he's the worst player on the field. He's also the most valuable player on the field because the other side will be guilted into giving him a free touchdown or two so his little feelings don't get hurt. You'll want to lock him up with the first pick.
Position: WR/DL/in-the-way
The Injury-Prone Uncle
Once the teams are all settled up, the game begins. But it doesn't officially begin until a play or two later when Uncle Jerry somehow snaps his femur running a crossing route at 3 miles per hour. Then you have to find two replacements — one for Uncle Jerry and one for the person rushing him to the hospital — before the game can begin again and for real.
Position: WR then fetal
The Guy Who Takes It Too Seriously
The game is supposed to be a fun activity to burn off some calories, but he's treating the family Turkey Bowl like it's the Super Bowl. Drop a pass and he'll be on your ass. And you better not forget any of the two dozen plays or blitz schemes he's drawn up. And don't bother complaining when he drops Aunt Gladys with a clothesline. YOU DON'T COME ACROSS THE MIDDLE IN MY BACKYARD, AUNT GLADYS!
Position: QB/CB who plays aggressive bump coverage
Opinion The 15 Greatest Red-Headed Athletes of All-Time
#15 – Brian Scalabrine
#14 – Jason Garrett
Video Greatest Dodgeball Player Ever
With his athleticism, perhaps he should consider a more profitable sport.
Video World's Best Juggler
He's probably a hoot at parties until he starts juggling your kids.
Opinion 7 Lesser-Known World Series
World Series of Birding
What is it?: Held annually since 1984, contestants compete to identify the highest number of bird species.
Where in the world is it held?: Cape May, New Jersey
Fun Fact: The state bird of New Jersey is the Eastern Goldfinch and not the middle finger or even The Situation's penis.
World Series of Beer Pong
What is it?: The World Series of Beer Pong features more than 1,000 participants from — according to the tournament's website — "45 U.S. States and 5 Canadian Provinces" (Two countries? WHOA! That's as big as the baseball World Series!) competing for a $50,000 grand prize.
Where in the world is it held? Las Vegas
Fun Fact: Pabst Blue Ribbon is the official beer of the World Series of Beer Pong, which serves as great motivation to win the $50,000 grand prize so you never have to buy crap beer again.
World Series of Flip Cup
What is it?: Held since 2006, the World Series of Flip Cup provides another beer-centric World Series for those who don't compete in the World Series of Beer Pong or play for the Boston Red Sox.
Where in the world is it held? Location varies
Fun Fact: The WSOFC requires that "All participants must be 21 or older and have health insurance to play." Last one to not be rushed to the hospital with alcohol poisoning wins!
