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Tip #1 – Wear jerseys.

Make sure you choose someone who will be on the team for a very long time (or at least the duration of your fandom). You don't want some weird mid-season, five-team trade leaving you with the last name of your archrival's second baseman on your back.

Don't know who your team's archrival is? Don't worry! Now that you're wearing all of your official team apparel, you will be subjected to their taunts and jeers. You know that guy who just spit in your nachos and gave you the finger for seemingly no reason? Find out who his favorite team is — that's your archrival.

Bonus Tip: Check your local thrift store for some vintage team apparel. Wearing a really old shirt or jersey will make it look like you've been a fan forever. Pit stains suggest dedication.

BIO:A star in wrestling, basketball, football, swimming and, track, Slater persevered in the face of simple mathematics by playing 5 sports in 3 seasons. As well as simple logic: no way anyone could maintain hair like that through the rigors of chlorine, wrestling headgear and a football helmet.

His only wrestling loss in high school occurred when he joined a match halfway through, replacing Samuel Powers, who was not even an official member of the Bayside wrestling team. Slater was disqualified after it was discovered that there were, like, 15 things wrong with this.

Albert Slater is seen as an inspiration to all Hispanics with unbelievably white names.

Real life resemblance: Danny Ainge. But whiter.

No, this parent is not a ham radio enthusiast. That weird looking box thing they carry with them at all times is a portable defibrillator … and it might just save your child's life!

A youth soccer game might not seem like a heart-stopping event, but they read this one story on the Internet somewhere. There's also this other story they heard from the parent of an opposing player, that's why they also bring that bag full of instant cold packs, smelling salts, and assorted foods that are high in electrolytes. You can tell their kid from the others because he's the one playing a non-contact sport with a helmet on and drinking a Gatorade made specifically for marathoners.

Favorite thing to say while watching from the bleachers: "(Gasp!) My baby!"

Not only has he been named "Dad of the Year" (unofficially via coffee mug) for making it to every one of his son's games, he's also won numerous regional amateur photography awards for the pictures taken at said games.

Growing up, his parents never supported his passion for photography, and his wife always said it was stupid — so a state-of-the-art-camera was the obvious choice when it came to buying himself a gift to celebrate his 50th birthday/divorce. Believe it or not, but photographing his own kid playing tennis hasn't helped him much financially, so he's looking to "branch out" and do some weddings and other events.

No, really, here's his card. Take it. Tell your friends.

Favorite thing to say while watching from the bleachers: "Here's that 8×10 action shot of your kid you never asked me for."

Thanks to the success of the new play "Lombardi," which is about the life and career of Green Bay Packers' coaching legend Vince Lombardi, Broadway is rushing the production of several more sports-themed plays and musicals.

Shawn Bradley

OFFICE: Utah House of Representatives

RESULT: Defeated

IMPACT: Utah voters did not care for Bradley's pledge to make Utah the first state to classify dunking on someone a hate crime. Many also saw his run at the state legislature as a calculated stepping stone for an attempt in 2012 to take on Utah incumbent governor Uwe Blab.

Linda McMahon

OFFICE: U.S. Senator from Connecticut

RESULT: Defeated

IMPACT: The rejection of a wrestling candidate may slow the momentum of Chyna's presidential bid. McMahon's defeat also likely ends steroids manufacturers' hopes of receiving federal funds. McMahon has blamed her defeat on the "mean-spirited" press, specifically Mean Gene Okerlund.