Filed Under » Mike McQueary

Penn State receivers coach Mike McQueary will miss the team’s home game on Saturday due to threats he has received due to his role in a child rape scandal. State College, PA, police say they are working on a list of suspects.

“Currently, we think everyone in the world had a pretty good motive to threaten Mike McQueary with bodily harm,” said Dale McConnell, State College police chief. “This is a guy who witnessed a child being raped by a grown man and did almost nothing about it. So, yeah, we currently have about 7 billion suspects. Now I guess it’s just about going door-to-door and making phone calls to narrow down the list.”

McConnell says he is also a suspect in the case.

“As you can imagine, as a human being, this whole scandal has filled me with immense sadness and rage,” said the police chief. “There was a brief period yesterday where I blacked out in a fit of rage and may have called Mike and told him I want nothing more than to pistol whip him. Although I’m pretty sure it was Jerry Sandusky I called then. I guess I’ll check the phone records.”