Video Mike Krzyzewski Can't Jump
So much for the stereotype about Polish people being great leapers.
Opinion Transcript of Mike Krzyzewski's Illegal Call with a Recruit
Duke may be guilty of an NCAA rules violation after head coach Mike Krzyzewski took a call from a recruit, Alex Poythress, while Poythress was traveling to play in tournaments. Here is a transcript of that call.
- Krzyzewski
Hello! This is Coach K's phone.
- Poythress
Hi. Coach Krzyzewski? This is Alex Poythress.
- Krzyzewski
Uhhh … sure. This is Coach Krzyzewski. How are you, Alex?
- Poythress
Good. I'm good. I have some down time between tournaments and thought I'd call and say hi.
- Krzyzewski
I'm glad you did, Alex. I'm just here being myself, being Coach Mike Krzyzewski. I am a legend. Everyone respects me.
- Poythress
Huh. Yeah, coach.
- Krzyzewski
Could you say that for me, Alex? Could you say: "You are Mike Krzyzewski. You are a legend. Everyone respects you."
- Poythress
Sure. I guess so. Do you have a cold or something, coach? Your voice sounds different.
- Krzyzewski
What? No. I'm me – Mike Krzyzewski and not anyone else. Now say that thing I asked you to say to- …
[There is a scuffle in the background. Someone yells: "Steve! Get off the phone!" And: "Who are you talking to?"]
- Krzyzewski
Sorry about that, Alex. That was my assistant, Steve Wojciechowski. He likes to pretend he's me a lot. Well, more than a lot. All the time. He doesn't have much else going for him.
- Poythress
Oh. That's alright. I called your phone and I thought something seemed a little strange from the beginning.
Picture Crazy Eyes Girl Trying to Steal Coach K's Soul
Jokes on you, girl: Mike Krzyzewski has no soul.
Picture President Obama is pictured in a photograph that will undoubtedly be used against him in 2012 as evidence that he pals around with unsavory characters
News Iron Man to Take On Mike Krzyzewski in Upcoming Sequel
With the new Iron Man movie,Iron Man 2, set to hit theatres next month, rumors are already circulating about possible storylines for the third installment, set to be released in 2012. One rumor, which has been making the rounds on the internet for weeks, was confirmed today by Marvel Studios: the main villain inIron Man 3will be none other than ultra-evil Duke head coach Mike Krzyzewski.
Producer Susan Downey said they wanted to create a character that was “the living, breathing personification of evil.”
“For the final installment of the trilogy, we wanted to up the stakes a little bit,” Downey said. “We wanted to create a villain that was so evil, so unscrupulous, and so universally loathed that audiences would shrink in fear at the sight of him. After much brainstorming, we settled on Duke head coach Mike Krzyzewski. Actually it wasn’t that much brainstorming. We all just blurted out his name at the same time.”
Downey said the diabolical and merciless Coach K would provide the most daunting challenge for Iron Man yet.
“Coach K is really going to challenge Iron Man,” said Downey. “He is going to be cunning, he is going to be relentless, he is going to swear a lot and he is going to have a seriously obnoxious group of nerdy geniuses following him around everywhere. Man, I’m getting the chills just thinking about it.”
No decision has been made as to who will play Krzyzewski inIron Man 3,but among the names being mentioned are Anthony Hopkins, John Malkovich and Willem Dafoe. Another option is a CGI rat-man. The plot, according to director Jon Favreau, will revolve around Krzyzewski’s plan to knock the planet off its axis with a powerful magnetic device designed by his cadre of whiny nerd followers.
“I don’t want to give away too much, but yeah, it’s going to be Coach K trying to destroy the earth with a big magnet,” he said. “How will Iron Man defeat this menacing villain? How will he stop Coach K from bringing the planet to its knees? You’ll have to wait until 2012 to find out. Oh, and the whole thing’s going to be in 3D so those horrible, beady eyes will look like they’re burning right through you.”
Krzyzewski said he was aware of the movie and gave his blessing to the use of his name and image.
“I think it will be a great thing for our program,” said Krzyzewski. “That kind of exposure can only help us with recruiting. Sure, it portrays me as an evil monster bent on destroying the world, but there are two sides to every story. My followers in the movie have all graduated from college. That means a lot. And if I was afraid of being portrayed as an evil monster, I never would have become a college basketball coach.”
Picture After winning his fourth national title, Mike Krzyzewski re-affirms his deal with Satan that requires him to live as a rat in exchange for basketball
Picture Mike Krzyzewski thanks former President George H. W. Bush for telling him about the existence of aliens at Area 51, which led to Duke's recruitment of
Picture Mike Krzyzewski summons all the demons in hell to help Duke beat Arkansas-Pine Bluff.
