December 21, 2010

Picture Stay Classy, New York Post

Really? Jets "Steel" one? What a terrible pun.

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December 16, 2010

News Dogs Express Interest in Owning Michael Vick

Several dogs expressed interest today in owning Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick.

"I would love to get Michael Vick in the future," a Virginia Beach, Virginia pit bull told a local dog newspaper. "I think it would be a big step for me in the rehabilitation process."

Vick, who spent 18 months in federal prison for running a dog-fighting ring, recently expressed a desire to have a dog again. It's a reunion that many dogs welcome.

"He served his time, has expressed regret and that's very important," said a muscular pit bull, pacing outside Vick's Philadelphia residence. "But as far as the dog community goes? There is still unfinished business. So, sure, if he'd like to get back together, we are all for it. Name the time and place. We'll be there waiting."

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Filed Under   NFL   Michael Vick   Philadelphia Eagles
December 13, 2010

Video Tashard Choice Gets Michael Vick's Autograph

He first got in Vick's good graces by losing to him.

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October 18, 2010

News Andy Reid Names Mike Kafka Eagles' Starting Quarterback

Philadelphia Eagles head coach Andy Reid announced today that third-string quarterback Mike Kafka, a fourth round pick out of Northwestern, would be the Eagles starter for the remainder of the season.

"Kevin Kolb and Mike Vick have played to a tie," said Reid. "There's no way I can choose between them. So Kafka is our guy going forward."

Several of the team's veteran players have reportedly tried to talk Reid out of the decision, but the 12-year head coach is set in his thinking.

"Every time we've put in a new guy at quarterback, he's played better than the guy before him," said Reid. "Vick played better than Kolb and now Kolb is playing better than Vick. It seems logical to me to that Kafka will be better than either of them."

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September 24, 2010

News Michael Vick a Changed Man, Says Desperate Eagles Fan

Michael Vick may have once, years ago, been a despicable and cruel human being, but those days are long gone, claim many Eagles fans who are hopeful Vick can rescue their season.

"Look, I wasn't thrilled when we signed him last year," said Rick Wahl, an Eagles season ticket holder. "But the man has paid his debt to society and from all reports I've heard, he's really turned his life around or is at least not murdering dogs anymore. And did you see that run he had against the Lions? Holy shit that was awesome!"

Eagles head coach Andy Reid named Vick the team's starter over Kevin Kolb this week, giving the convicted felon control of a team full of young talent.

"Michael is ready to take this step, he is ready to lead this team," said Reid. "A man who has a 105.5 passer rating and almost single-handedly beat the Packers in one half of play has to be living a moral and lawful life, right? I mean, the chances are pretty slim he's committing crimes again, no? Why would he want to go back to jail? It doesn't make any sense."

Vick's teammates are behind him, too.

"If Mike can help us win on the field, whatever he does off the field is not really any of my business," said Eagles receiver DeSean Jackson. "If anyone should be in jail, it should be Kevin Kolb for how bad he played in Week 1."

Wahl, the Eagles season ticket holder, also added that cross-state quarterback Ben Roethlisberger "is a piece of trash" who he "could never root for."

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Filed Under   NFL   Michael Vick   Philadelphia Eagles
September 23, 2010

Picture Oh, I get it. Michael Vick killed dogs.

I guess newspapers have to get headlines anyway they can.

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Filed Under   NFL   media   Michael Vick   Philadelphia Eagles

September 21, 2010 Column Stuff You Might Have Heard
Andy Reid announces Michael Vick will be named starter around halftime on Sunday

Eagles head coach Andy Reid reiterated Monday that Kevin Kolb will not lose his starting job to injury.

"If Kevin Kolb is healthy, he will start for us on Sunday," said Reid at his weekly press conference. "Then Michael Vick will be promoted from backup to starting quarterback around halftime when Kevin inevitably sucks it up, definitively proving that Michael is the far superior quarterback, which is really something we all already know."

Kolb said he appreciated his coach's loyalty. "I intend to go out there and play my best," said the first-year starter. "It's my goal to not get benched until well into the third quarter."

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July 12, 2010

News Michael Vick not able to attend annual Vick Family Crime Jamboree

Quarterback Michael Vick will not be able to leave Pennsylvania to attend his annual crime festival in Newport News, Virginia, due to travel restrictions placed on him as part of his probation.


The Vick Family Crime Jamboree has been hosted by Vick and his brother Marcus Vick in their hometown since 2001. The event features five days and five nights of small misdemeanors up to serious felonies. Participants compete for cash prizes, loot and skilled defense attorneys. Admission is free, but those who attend are made aware that they could be robbed or assaulted at any time.


"Of all the events that I have had to miss due to the travel restrictions currently place on me, I am most disappointed to have to miss this one," said the quarterback. "Anyone who knows me knows how much I want to get back home and do some crime."


With Michael Vick unable to attend, the hosting duties fall solely onto his brother Marcus.


"I'm upset Michael won't be here," he said. "But this is my chance to prove I'm just as bad as he is. I'm tired of being in his shadow. Except when the times that literally being in his shadow has enabled me to avoid being detected by police."


Although the Eagles backup said he definitely will not attend, there are rumors that he will show up for the day's final show.


"We usually have a fireworks display that's part of blowing up a bank vault," said a source close to the Vick family. "But we are considering getting Mike out of Pennsylvania and down here. We've never had a parole violation AND a manhunt at the jamboree. I think the attendees would really enjoy it."

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Filed Under   NFL   Michael Vick   Philadelphia Eagles
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Filed Under   NFL   Michael Vick   Philadelphia Eagles