August 26, 2010

Video The greatest basketball player of all-time begat the worst rapper of all-time

This is Michael Jordan's son, Marcus Jordan. Marcus Jordan averaged 8.0 points per game last season for lowly Central Florida, yet he is approximately 8.0 billion times better at basketball than he is at rapping. Observe.

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August 17, 2010

News ProStars: The Unseen Episodes

The ProStars cartoon aired only 14 episodes during its television run from September to December 1991. But many more episodes of the Michael Jordan, Bo Jackson and Wayne Gretzky crime-fighting cartoon were shot that never made it to air.


Here are a few.

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Filed Under   NBA   MLB   NFL   misc   NHL   Wayne Gretzky   Michael Jordan   Bo Jackson
January 8, 2010

News Marcus Jordan Demands All UCF Faucets Run Cool, Crisp Gatorade

The University of Central Florida has begun a $350 million plumbing overhaul on its campus that will flow fresh Gatorade through every water fountain and faucet at the school. The move was prompted by Michael Jordan's son, Marcus Jordan, who wants to drink Gatorade while playing basketball for the Knights.


"It's the least we could do for Marcus," said UCF president John C. Hitt. "We will have to cut several academic departments and hundreds of jobs to finance this Gatorade plumbing project. But we think it's worth it. This is Michael Jordan's son we're talking about. Michael Jordan! That guy was awesome."


The 6-foot-3 freshman shooting guard has already forced the school to drop a $3 million deal with adidas due to his insistence on wearing Nike. And with the adidas deal ended and the Gatorade plumbing project about to break ground, UCF is ready to take several other steps to satisfy Jordan's offspring. The dining halls will serve nothing but Ballpark Franks and McDonald's starting in the fall semester, and no underwear but Hanes underwear will be allowed on campus following spring break.


"I can't even be in the same room as Fruit Of The Loom underwear," says Marcus Jordan. "I break out into hives. Emotional hives."


UCF is hoping to finish all of the projects as quickly as possible so the young Jordan can feel comfortable and focus on his game.


"I assume he's only averaging 5.3 points per game right now because he's not surrounded by all of his father's products, right?" said President Hitt. "Soon he'll start playing all Jordan-y? Please? I really hope we're not doing all this for some kid who's no better than a walk-on. I honestly had no idea we even had a basketball team here at Central Florida until he enrolled."

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November 16, 2009

News Behind the scenes with Michael Jordan on the Stephen Jackson trade

Scene: A golf course. Michael Jordan's cell phone rings. Jordan finishes his putt, snuffs out his cigar and picks up the phone.

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September 12, 2009

Picture A huge dick poses with a huge dick.

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Filed Under   NBA   Michael Jordan   Chicago Bulls