Ha! A newspaper. This video is so old.
"It's hard to believe it now, but before 1996 we didn't have any basketball player scents on the market," said Thomas Despres, athlete cologne beat writer for the New York Times. "Michael Jordan's Michael Jordan was a game changer."
Jordan's cologne instantly became a bestseller among the 14 year-old boy demographic, who used the fragrance when awkwardly trying to talk to girls. Before 1996, boys of that age were forced to rub magazine ads with cologne samples on their armpits, spray air freshener on themselves or bathe.
"In many circles, Michael Jordan is thought of first as a cologne, and second as a basketball guy. That's how great his cologne is," said Despres. "Anyone with 20 bucks who lives near a Walmart can smell like Michael Jordan. It is the scent of America."
Widely considered the greatest player of all-time, Jordan said it would be a tough choice between the trio. However, Morrison's combination of rings and youth would tip the scales in his favor.
"Kobe has five titles and that's impressive, but he's getting a little long in the tooth," said Jordan. "LeBron is a lot younger, but he only has one. I don't really like either choice. What I like is Adam Morrison. He has two championship rings and is just as young as LeBron. Easy choice if you break it down. He's a good mix of Kobe and LeBron."
Jordan took Morrison with the 3rd overall pick in the 2006 NBA Draft, just one of the many disastrous player personnel moves he has made in his post-playing career and one which contributed to the state the Charlotte Bobcats are in today.
But Jordan scoffs at any suggestions that picking Morrison, who last played in the Turkish League in 2012 and left the team due to lack of playing time, was a mistake.
"I don't make mistakes. Never have, never will," said Jordan. "And you saying I did makes you look stupid. Adam has two championships rings. More than LeBron. More than Patrick Ewing and Charles Barkley. More than John Stockton and Karl Malone. As many as Hakeem Olajuwon. I don't think I need to go on but I will. Adam has played for four different teams in three different countries. He's gotten tryouts with two other teams. If he's so terrible, why do so many teams consider him? Huh, dumbass?"
He's probably better at hockey than he was at baseball.
News Report: Michael Jordan Out $12.6 Million in Gambling Losses Thanks to Charlotte Bobcats' Surprising 7-7 Start
"Michael is really pissed off," said a Bobcats front office source. "Something really bad has to happen for him to show up at the office because he takes a I'll say a 'hands-off' approach to management. But he's been here all week demanding answers about why this team is winning games."
Jordan came to the team's office for the first time all season last week after the Bobcats went on a tear in which they won five of six to get to 6-4 a streak that saw their owner lose nearly $10 million and put off the purchase of a Ferrari. Since an office tirade and a closed-door meeting with this team, the Bobcats have lost three of four including a 45-point loss to Oklahoma City in which they trailed 82-29 at one point. The only victory came in overtime against the Wizards, a game the Bobcats tried desperately to lose for their owner, only to be out-failed by Washington. The return to normalcy has seen Jordan make back some money, allowing him to finalize the purchase of a new Ferrari with a custom denim paint job.
"Michael's big thing is that he will not accept mediocrity," said a team source. "Mainly because it is impossible to make money betting on a mediocre team. He wants us to either win all of our games or lose all of our games. Nothing in the middle."
"Due to the seemingly insurmountable evidence that Michael Jordan wears incredibly ugly jeans and misled Nike about his fashion sense for more than two decades, it is with great sadness that we have terminated our contract with him," the company said in a statement. "Nike does not condone the use of acid wash, distressing or patches in any manner."
During his playing career, Jordan was considered one of the most fashionable players in the NBA. But since he's retired, his wardrobe has become increasingly ridiculous, as the 50-year-old Bobcats owner leans toward ill-fitting jackets, ugly suits and jeans with holes in them.
This summer, evidence surfaced that Jordan's horrible fashion sense may have started during his playing career. Grainy video shown during a "Dream Team" documentary showed Jordan wearing some kind of multi-colored patterned matching shirt-and-shorts combo, which forced Nike to take action.
"When we partnered with Michael on Jordan Brand, we'd been led to believe he was a fashion icon," said Nike president Phil Knight. "Clearly this is not the case."
Not cool. Michael Jordan is on record saying that Republicans buy sneakers.
Wyoming is known for its basketball acumen.