Teammates looked on with horror and disgust as Bosh parted his reptilian mouth and made prolonged intimate contact with the trophy, leaving a greenish strand of saliva dangling from its 24 karat gold overlay.
"I'M JUST SO HAPPY!" Bosh shouted before offering the trophy to Udonis Haslem, who backed off cautiously, refusing to embrace the prize of their hard-fought season.
"No way, man, that's nasty," said Haslem. "I think I'll just get showered up and head home."
Bosh, drenched in champagne and perched gargoyle-like on a bench, then took the trophy and rubbed it gingerly against his grotesquely extended neck, his hands trembling with methamphetaminic aplomb.
Lisa Bonet thinks Wade looks cool.
He's just not cool enough to pull off transitions lenses.
He has the charisma of Shane Battier.
"We want to win a championship for ourselves," said Thunder coach Scott Brooks. "But I'm not going to tell you that not unleashing 24/7 Jets coverage on the nation isn't additional motivation. We know America is counting on us to save them."
James believes that the national fear of Tebow coverage without the "Will LeBron ever win a ring?" story to balance it out is part of the reason he is hated by so many.
"I never committed any crimes. I'm not a bad guy, yet I'm hated more than anyone in sports," said James. "If people don't want me to win a championship because it will result in more Tebow coverage, well I can completely understand that."
Ahhhh, visual hate. Nothing like it.
Picture Alaska Has the Heat's Back
Sarah Palin loves the Heat because Glen Rice once played for them.
The force is strong in Kevin Durant.