Opinion Advice from the Mavericks on Beating the Heat This Summer
Pull up for three gallons of your favorite ice cream.
— Jason Terry
Shave your head bald. You'll find it's much "cooler" than bleaching.
— Jason Kidd
Remain inactive.
— Caron Butler
Picture "The Decision" Now in Trading Card Form
The sports card industry has been dying for years, but this is the official cause of death.
News Lebron's People Seeking to Confiscate All Tapes of the NBA Finals
"This was a very private event for Lebron and not meant for public consumption," said Maverick Carter, his closest advisor. "We feel that anyone who has seen tapes of the Finals or watched them live are in violation of our wishes and must cease and desist remembering what they saw immediately or face civil action."
Carter is working with Nike, Coca-Cola and McDonald's — James' three biggest endorsement partners — in a desperate attempt to get rid of all record of the Heat star's play in the Finals, similar to the effort made when there was video of Jordan Crawford dunking on James at a 2009 summer camp. Carter hopes to meet with ABC and NBA officials this week to discuss handing over the tapes.
"They claim they have rights to broadcast the games and license out the footage," said Carter, "but I can assure you that we never would have agreed to anything like that had we known how poorly Lebron was going to play."
Picture Miami Loses! (Also: Dallas Wins!)
The Mavericks should lose if they want attention.
