Filed Under » Miami Dolphins

No matter if you want to be an NFL draft pick like Dez Bryant or a retail clerk, you can't get a job without successfully getting through a job interview. So you need to know what kind of questions an interviewer will ask.

Here are the 10 most common questions that I ask in interviews.

And who am I, you ask? Only the general manager of the Miami Dolphins, routinely between the second and fourth-best team in the entire AFC East!

Former Miami Dolphins running back Mercury Morris stated today in a nationally-televised interview today that he hopes your "whore wife" leaves you so that your precious marriage fails, leaving him as the only happy person in America.

"It's nothing against him personally," Morris said about you. "But I really enjoy being happily married and this is something I want to keep for myself. A great marriage means more if you're the only person to have one. That's obvious."

Morris then went on to say that even if your marriage does last, it pales in comparison to his and the struggles he went through to make it work.

"He's ugly, for one," said Morris. "It's not hard to stay married when no one else wants to have sex with you. He's lucky he has a marriage to begin with. Same with his wife, Lard Pants or whatever her name is. She would leave him in a minute if anyone would take her. By the way, Lard Pants, if you're watching, I'll take you if it gets you away from him and ends your marriage. Or I'll give you to Jim Kiick. He was always into fatties."

Morris, a member of the undefeated 1972 Miami Dolphins, also said it's a lot easier to stay married these days than back when he was getting hitched.

"Oh, man, the seventies were something else," he said. "Just free, casual sex anywhere you wanted it. There were times when I returned a kick, came to the sidelines and fell knee-deep into poontang. I'm talking high-quality poon, too. We would use our timeouts just to push the hot, naked women off of us. And women kept themselves in shape back then. Now everyone is fat and you have the AIDS and women wanting you to use condoms … no wonder this guy is staying married. And even if he does stay with his wife, he'll know deep inside that he's not really as happy as I am."

When contacted by a reporter, Morris' wife, Sheila, said their marriage is indeed built to last.

"I sleep around on him, he doesn't know, and I get to live in a nice house," she said. "No way I'm giving this up. Oh, by the way, ever year when Mercury and all the '72 Dolphins get drunk on champagne together after the last undefeated team goes down, they usually start talking about how awesome it is that no one knows they were on steroids."

AVOID: Chad Henne, QB, Dolphins — Since replacing the injured Chad Pennington as Dolphins starter, the second-year quarterback from Michigan is 2-0 and put up big numbers on Monday Night Football against the (formerly?) tough New York Jets defense. Should you pick him up? No. Well, sure. Whatever. Do what you want. Is he a viable option as your backup quarterback? Definitely. But the bye weeks will be gone soon. If you are seriously considering Henne as your starting quarterback, your season has probably already been lost.

Now, in a keeper league? Yes. You should use a waiver pick on him. He many develop into a top-tier quarterback.

Consider …

Played at Michigan? Check.

Not drafted in the first round? Check.

Butt chin? Huge.

Connoisseur of tiny hats? Basically.

Cuddler of farm animals? It depends on what you think about the looks of these girls.

Basically, what I'm saying is that Chad Henne could be the next Tom Brady. All the signs are there. So consider picking him up in your keeper league. You never know, one season the Dolphins could acquire Randy Moss, get a ridiculously easy schedule and … perfect storm … a total fluke of a year could occur in which he throws 50 touchdown passes and is actually a legitimate No. 1 fantasy quarterback for four months.

That probably won't happen. And if it does, he'll quickly revert back to a slightly above average fantasy quarterback. But it's probably worth the gamble of one waiver choice.