Because hockey broadcasters are the coolest cats in town!
But they're pros, so they want to have sex in the playoffs, too.
"Alright, we've got Jimmie Ray from Smyrna calling in and he wants to talk about gay athletes," Crazy Mike just said. "You're on the air, Jimmie Ray."
Oh, God. His name is Jimmie Ray. This is going to be even worse than you feared.
"Yeah, hey, Crazy Mike. Yeah, I just wanted to talk about this NBA guy saying he's gay," said Jimmie Ray. "Now, I've never heard of him before because I don't really like NBA basketball. I don't think half of them try all season and when they do, it's only for the last few minutes of the game."
Please. Please someone stop this. Please. It's going to get racial and homophobic. Cut the line.
"And I learned in church growing up that homosexuality is a sin," continued Jimmie Ray.
Sweet mercy. This is a complete disaster. HANG UP ON HIM! You don't want sports radio callers talking about these issues! They're America's dumbest people! SOMEONE DO SOMETHING BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
She didn't get electrocuted, so that's good.
2006: "Perfect storm of events" blesses Arizona with Matt Leinart
Let's just assume he has concussions problems.
He wins the Too Soon Award for Broadcasting.
Those are the words Jim Nantz used to begin his call of the Masters on Sunday, the second day in a row he opened his broadcast with the crude alteration of his famed "hello, friends" line.
Nantz worked blue throughout Saturday's broadcast and into Sunday before CBS president Les Moonves pulled him off the air. Nantz's last comment before being removed was calling Tiger Woods' bogey on No. 7 "another bed-shitting by Tiger Woods. He's taking a big-ass dump on his scorecard."
CBS's statement on Nantz's removal offered no details as to why the announcer, who is regarded as one of the most conservative and straight-laced sports broadcasters and is therefore a staple at the staid and reverent Masters, suddenly filled his coverage with filthy language rarely heard outside of a naval ship or late-night comedy club.
But a source close to Nantz said he merely wanted to make the Masters more accessible to a younger audience. "The kids fkin' love this shit," Nantz reportedly told a colleague.
It's hard to find an honest man.
It's a blessing and a curse.