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It's amazing they still have ideas for headlines about Toronto sports disappointment.
Sports announcers need to use "sucks" more.
O.J.'s reemergence is big business for tabloid newspapers.
He must have read about it on InfoWars.com/NCAAF.
And congratulations to you, guy, on being a regional TV sideline reporter.
Directions: Just circle a word or phrase in each list, print it out, hand it in to a major media outlet and you'll be a published NBA columnist! You're welcome!
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Derrick Rose sat on the bench in a suit and tie again last night
like the huge pussy that he is.
and probably had conflicted feelings about it.
which had to kill him, because there is no bigger competitor in sports than Derrick Rose.
As has been well documented by now, Rose was cleared to return to the court by doctors two months ago.
So that's that. He can play. There is no debate.
Yet an athlete knows his body better than a doctor does.
But who's to say the team's doctors don't want to callously rush him back to the court before he's ready, the true state of his knee be damned?
"I personally know of six columnists working on that story already," said a Yankees media relations staffer. "Three local guys and three national guys. They all asked me individually how Derek is single-handedly willing this team to victory and I told them that he isn't at all. That he isn't even around. That seemed to disappoint them. But I know the columns are still in the works. They'll just pull some stuff out of their asses like always. I bet it's something like 'the standard of excellence he demanded inspires the team even in his absence.'"
At the start of the season, when the Yankees were expected to be awful and then got off to a slow start columnists were racing to publish pieces that made the case that the Yankees simply could not win without Jeter in the lineup. As though his absence alone would bring down the historic franchise. But then they started winning, forcing a different angle.
"It doesn't matter if we went 0-162, 162-0 or 81-81, Derek was going to come out of this smelling like roses," said the media relations staffer. "That's just how it's been for 18 years and nothing will ever change that. I mean, the guy has been surrounded by top talent for the last 12 years, yet he got just one World Series title in that time. Still his 'leadership' and 'winner' credentials remain flawless in the eyes of the media. No doubt he's an all-time great, but this team hasn't missed a beat with Eduardo Nunez and Jayson Nix in his place. So, yeah. Derek's reputation is set for life and nothing will ever change that. Especially not when there are dozens of writers who always count on mailing in 'Derek Jeter is awesome' columns three or four times a season."
Well, that totally pays him back for knocking the Knicks out of the playoffs.