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VIDEO: Auditions for AHL Adirondack Flames Mascot Have Major League Awkwardness

Mascot costumes were invented so fans couldn’t see the person dancing around like an idiot turning red from embarrassment. Continue Reading →
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PICTURE: Benny The Bull’s Sign Claims His Team’s Owner Isn’t Racist

Once you lose mascots, you lose America. Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Pistons Mascot Scares Joakim Noah

And so ends the greatest moment of the season for the Detroit Pistons. Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Our Soccer Mascots’ Heads are Falling Off

Disgusting. That mascot’s spinal column looks like a human head.  Continue Reading →
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PICTURE: Sochi’s Terrifying Mascots Have Been Put to Sleep

Stab them in the heart to make sure they’re dead. Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Terrifying Sochi Bear Mascot Can’t Fit His Giant Head Into a Car

This is how all Sochi Bear nightmares end: you jump into a car and he can’t get you. Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Comcast SportsNet Airs Anatomically-Correct Photo of Chicago Cubs Mascot

Now even reporting on the Chicago Cubs results in failure. Continue Reading →
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New Cartoonish Cubs Mascot a Complete Failure in Appealing to 18-34 Demographic

The Chicago Cubs unveiled a new mascot yesterday, Clark, a “young, friendly Cub” who wears a baseball cap backwards and will greet fans as they enter Wrigley Field. It ... Continue Reading →
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PICTURE: Falcons Mascot is Cracking Suicide Jokes

Everyone loves some good killing yourself humor on the day of a suicide prevention charity walk. Continue Reading →
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PICTURE: New Orleans Pelicans Mascot is Terrifying

Looks like a pelican will be making an appearance in your nightmares this evening.  Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Brooklyn Nets Mascot is in Preseason Form

Now he has to deal with the disappointed glares of Kevin Garnett. Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: The Dolphins’ Mascot Thought the Dolphins Kicked a Game-Tying Field Goal

It seems echolocation isn’t good for tracking a football. Continue Reading →
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VIDEO: Jacksonville Jaguars Mascot Gets Pummeled with Paintballs Because the Jaguars are Terrible

Now do Gabbert! Continue Reading →
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PICTURE: New Raiders Mascot is the Worst Thing

It’s hard to make something even worse than the Raiders. But they pulled it off. Continue Reading →
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Brutus the Buckeye Decleated During Ohio State Football Practice

Can a nut get concussed? Continue Reading →
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Rays Mascot Hates Steve Irwin

Bindie Irwin is going to kill that mascot with a spear. Continue Reading →
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Pac-12 Mascots Check Out of a Hotel

You can’t keep animals at a hotel. They’re in trouble. Continue Reading →
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Russell Westbrook Goaltends Rocky the Mascot

Never mess with an animal with foam teeth. Continue Reading →