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Eagles Give Nick Foles Vote of Confidence by Signing Mark Sanchez as His Backup QB

The Philadelphia Eagles sent a message to Nick Foles today that they see him as the clear No. 1 quarterback on the roster for this season and beyond by signing noted suckwad QB Mark ... Continue Reading →
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PICTURE: Mark Sanchez Has Cornrows Now

Maybe he’s quitting football for a career in hip-hop dancing. The Pick-6 will be the hot new dance craze. Continue Reading →
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Jets Say They Were Planning to Give Mark Sanchez Season-Ending Surgery Even if He Wasn’t Hurt

New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez will undergo surgery on a torn labrum that will keep him out for the entire 2013 season, but the former starter’s absence due to a surgical ... Continue Reading →
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Jets Disappointed to Discover That Mark Sanchez Didn’t Get Good at Football in the Offseason

New York Jets coaches and players today admitted today that their hopes that Mark Sanchez would lead the team to a Super Bowl this season due to flawless play at quarterback will likely ... Continue Reading →
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Google is Mean to America’s Crappiest Sports Teams and Athletes

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NFL: Preseason-New York Jets at Cincinnati Bengals

BREAKING: Mark Sanchez Still Employed as Professional Football Quarterback

The New York Jets waived quarterback Tim Tebow Monday morning in a shocking move that means Mark Sanchez somehow still remains employed as a professional football quarterback. "I ... Continue Reading →
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17 Year-Old Girl Turns Down Mark Sanchez’s Request to Take Her to Prom

Kara Grainger, a 17 year-old high school senior from Morristown, NJ, will not be accompanied to prom this year by the New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez. "It's just ... Continue Reading →
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What All 31 Other NFL Teams Would Give the Jets for Mark Sanchez

Bears: Jay Cutler's locker room ash tray Bengals: Andy Dalton's soul Bills: a sandwich bag full of Ryan Fitzpatrick's shorn beard hair Broncos: two free Papa John's ... Continue Reading →
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Mark Sanchez: The Unluckiest Politician Alive

He wants to make turnovers illegal. Continue Reading →
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Depressed Mark Sanchez Defaces His Wikipedia Page

Mark Sanchez's NFL career somehow hit an even lower low on Monday night, as he threw four interceptions and fumbled in a horrid performance on Monday Night Football, almost single-handedly ... Continue Reading →
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One Thing All Americans Agree On: Mark Sanchez is Terrible

His awfulness unites us all. Continue Reading →
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Mark Sanchez ButtFumble Jersey

If he buys a jersey for every classic Jets’ failure, he’ll have no money left. Continue Reading →
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Mark Sanchez’s Note-to-Self After Getting Benched

He better not let Tebow see him writing F. Continue Reading →
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More Than 12 Jets Players Receive a Gift Basket from a “Mark S.”

Gift baskets were found in front of the lockers of more than 12 Jets players when the team arrived at their Florham Park, NJ, practice facility this morning. Each gift basket had a ... Continue Reading →
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Tim Tebow Searching for Good Bible Verse to Share with Mark Sanchez About Dealing with Getting Benched

New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow says he has spent much of his free time over the past few weeks reading his Bible in search of a verse about getting benched that he can share with ... Continue Reading →
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Mark Sanchez Unaware the Jets Got Lucky

Mark Sanchez is their quarterback. That's terrible luck. Continue Reading →
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Reporter Gets Her Crappy Jets QBs Mixed Up

They should both be called "Backup." Continue Reading →
NFL: AUG 14 Preseason - Rams at Jets

Motivated Mark Sanchez Vows to Have His "Least Shitty Season Yet"

Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez said today that he welcomes the team's acquisition of Tim Tebow and will use it as fuel to make himself better. "I am confident that at the ... Continue Reading →